Jeana's Family Blog

It's official...

2012-02-15T15:50:00.000-08:00

We're moving. Closing date March 7.

History Fair--District

2012-02-07T07:19:00.000-08:00

The district level history fair was Friday. Bianca did her same skit--as a music professor teaching History 101 and a lesson on ragtime music. Bianca talks a little fast (how do you get her to slow down when she's nervous?) but she went away with the first prize in her division (presentation) and is going on to the Regions next month. We're going to work on slowing down, enunciating, and stop playing with her necklace for crying out loud--which is what the judge told her to work on. (The funny thing about this is that these are all things Eric and I had told Bianca not to do when she was rehearsing the night before.) I swear Bianca thinks I don't know what I'm talking about so it's nice to see this confirmed (to her) sometimes. Still, I'm very proud of her hard work. On to another month and a half of rehearsing the same skit.

Bianca and two friends from her class

It's the details I love...

2012-01-28T13:22:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I went out to the new house to pick out the roof shingles. In our offer, the bank said they would replace the roof. Part of me is sad to have the wood-shake shingles go, but it needs to be done. I just hope we don't lose an element of the "character" of the house. Oh well, better that than having a fire hazard. How can people put up wooden roofs anyway--I'd be scared to death on the fourth of July.

I fell in love with the house all over again. I realized it's a lot of the details that make me love it so much so I thought I'd include some of them here just so I can convince myself again that all the work of selling my old house, packing up my stuff, is worth it.

I love the English ivy that crawls up the house and up around the arch on the front door. It seems so European. I like the stone on the front of the house as well.

This is door to the coat closet. I love that they used actual antique doors and mantels. I feel like a get a piece of history without having all the problems of a 100-year-old house.

This is the antique mantel in the master bedroom with wood-burning fireplace. I love the smell of a real wood-burning fire but part of me wishes it were actually gas. So much easier to turn off and on. And a lot cleaner. Eric's not wild about the old tiles but I like them.

This is the door to the master bedroom. It's another antique door, but you can tell it once was an exterior door because it still has the cool postal slot where the mailman would slip the mail inside. I love the old knob and the imperfections of this door as well.

One of the things I love about my mom's old house is the stained glass. This house has two stained-glass windows. This one is on one side of a bedroom (Bianca's I think) and it looks out onto the library.

Finally, a half bath. I've been dying for a half bath for years. Not sure what to do with the wallpaper here though. Should I paint over it, take it down, or keep it? Oh, and how can I hide that awful baseboard radiator?

Did I mention there's a drinking fountain? For some reason, this is a very popular idea in this area.

Our music room. I love that there are french doors so that I can shut them if we need to. Also, there's finally room for a grand piano if I can ever afford one. I'm thinking of replacing the mushroom light though...

Let's go downstairs now. I love the craftroom. Look at those cabinets and all the storage! Eric hates these florescent lights though. I'm not as biased.

There's another wood-burning fireplace in the basement. The previous owners were even kind enough to leave us some wood in the closet.

There's this back house. It's about 500 square feet. At first, I immediately thought, "Writing Retreat." I'm not sure now. There's a hot tub in one room and exercise equipment in the other room. Maybe we'll just use it as that for now. Maybe someday it can be my writing retreat though.

Another thing that reminds me of my mom's house is this wonderful rope swing and I love that there are trees big enough to hold a swing. I already have picked out the two trees in the backyard that are going to hold my hammock. I've wanted one of those since we went to Maine and spent a lazy afternoon in a hammock. Oh, and another thing I love--the stone fence in the background of this picture of Bianca. Not faux stone like they seem to only do now, but big fat stones all stuck together in this one.

Oh, here's the creek. It's a little snowed over now but the sound of the water is amazing. I'm so excited to give my kids a creek to kick through, the way I used to when I was a kid.

I'll end with this picture. My Aunt Joanie came with us and took all these pictures. But this one I think is my very favorite. I'm walking with my kids down the quiet street in front of the house with the guy from the bank. But look at those mountains next to the house.

We're under contract

2012-01-27T07:59:00.001-08:00

...but I'm still no where ready to list my current house for sale. This is going to be a lot of work.

To Do it or not to do it--That is the question

2012-01-15T09:28:00.000-08:00

We're in negotiations about a house.

I love the house. There are so many, many things I love about it--the old tudor style with stone and brick.

the nearly acre lot with huge mature trees and creek running along the back.

The library with spiral staircase. I mean, really, a house with that only comes along so often.

The newly remodeled kitchen isn't too shabby either.

So, why did I wake up afraid that maybe I can still get out of it? The list of things that needs to be done to it is long--new roof, AC put in (it has a swamp cooler now), somehow cover up the ugly baseboard radiators, redo some of the older looking bathrooms, a lot of the closets don't even have doors (Oh but the ones that do are antique and amazing ), tile the ugly linoleum laundry room floor, some of the light fixtures are really pretty bad. So, do we do it? Or would it just be a moneypit and a thorn in my side? Or does the good outweigh the bad?

Christmas Break

2011-12-31T09:18:00.000-08:00

Christmas break is nearing its end. I'm happy, though, about how many fun Christmasy things we were able to do since returning from Mexico.

We went ice skating three times (Portia went twice and is learning slowly, but Bianca really flies around the rink and she's working on twirls now) at the South Jordan free rink. You can't beat the price!

I took the girls skiing up at Brighton on the bring-nonperishable-goods-and-we'll-give-you-a-$20-lift-ticket day. Santa was even skiing around on his skis. Portia went to the all-day ski school while Bianca and I rode all over the mountain. This is the first time I've opted not to put Bianca in lessons and to see if she's ready to go without. I was shocked that she was able to go so fast. I'm impressed with how good she is! This is awesome too because SkiUtah did a fifth-grade pass where fifth-graders could ski free three times at each of Utah's ski resorts. Yay!!! It was snowing really hard though but we muscled through it.

Bianca and I stopped at the restaurant to share a huge plate of nachos and have hot chocolate. We also bought a couple cookies from a girl who was selling them "for a good cause." Bianca started eating a cookie before lunch. I looked at her and said, "Bianca, what are you doing?"

She responded with, "Well, I thought you were my snowboarding buddy so. . ."

"Yeah, well, I'm still your mom first."

Bianca and I stopped over on the bunny slope to see how Portia was doing. I was a little disconcerted when I went to pick Portia up at 3:30 when Portia told me, "I fell off the ski lift." I didn't understand at first, surely she meant she fell down when skiing down the ramp. But no, she actually fell off the ski lift. I thought a teacher should be keeping her safe. I'm just glad she didn't get hurt.

I want to make an effort to get us on the mountain more. It is a lot of work to get out all the ski stuff, pack the car, put all the stuff on, do the skiing, take half the stuff off, pack the car, take the rest off, hang it all up so it can dry, then put it all away. I'm tired just remembering it.

The rest of the two weeks is a blur of messy house, clutter everywhere, wrapping paper and scissors and tape strewn about. But the girls had a great Christmas morning. I decided to adopt the Santa-only-brings-stockings idea at my house from now on. This is how they do it in England with Father Christmas only bringing stockings. Then Mom and Dad bring three presents each, to represent the Wise Men bringing three gifts to Jesus. I had themes for each gift. Bianca had (1) creating things--crochet and knitting kits, with a gift card to Hobby Lobby to buy more yarn; (2) music--this year Bianca asked for a guitar; (3) exercise--a Zipfy sled that steers. Now if only we could get some snow already. Portia got (1) better sleep--a Minky, a koala pillow pet and an "alive" koala; (2) art supplies--lots of them; (3) exercise--a walrus sled. Again, where's the snow? I got some cozy slippers and a whip-cream maker from Williams Sonoma.

We had church for an hour and then headed off to Bruce and Joanie's with our Bread Pudding Quiche topped with raspberries, blackberries, strawberries and bacon. It was so good! Bruce and Joanie gave the kids an aromatherapy bear and monkey, to Bianca and Portia respectively, which I'm hoping to snag once Portia loses interest. It smells of mint and lavendar and can be microwaved to get them warm. Here's Portia loving her monkey up.

We spent all day laying around (I believe each of the moms got a much-needed nap in the afternoon), playings games, snacking, and visiting. I love our Christmases with the Quigleys!

Preschool Christmas Program

2011-12-23T11:24:00.000-08:00

Portia's preschool's Christmas program was last week. They do a recap of a lot of the songs and poems they learn the first part of the year. It astounds me how very many songs and poems these little children can remember. This year, the kids get a weekly French lesson by Madame Danielle. Here is a song they learned in French class.

They sang Jumbo Elephant.

They also sang Suzie Snowflake, played the bells for Jingle Bells, among other things. Here is Portia with her teacher Miss Melissa.

Here are two of Portia's friends from preschool, Naomi and Shelby.

Christmas Concert

2011-12-22T13:00:00.000-08:00

When I was in high school, my band director Mr. B. asked me to play the bells for a couple songs for a concert that had a bell part. Probably he picked me because I could play the piano and it converted over nicely to the bells and although I'm not proud to admit it, I really was dispensable on the flute. But because I had to stand up and walk back and forth between the two instruments, I got a new dress for the occasion. For me, this was a big deal. I remember it clearly and can still see the floral-printed, ruffly dress in my memory. I still remember the banana clip I wore my curly permed hair in that night.

Last week was Bianca's elementary school orchestra's Christmas Concert. Bianca decided she would play double bass for the songs that had a separate bass line (not the same as the cellos) and she would play viola for the songs that did.

Here's Bianca playing bass in a Christmas medley.

Next is one of my favorite Christmas songs that you don't often hear. It's supposed to sound like the camels traveling across the desert on the journey to see the baby Jesus. Bianca's plucking (as opposed to bowing as she was on the first video) on double bass here.

Then Bianca played a solo on her viola of "I Wonder as I Wander."

Bianca had her friend Hayle spend the night after the concert. We stopped at Menchie's for frozen yogurt on our way home, which is a tradition that my parents started to stop for ice cream after a concert or special performance. Here are the girls at Menchie's.

Strangely, this black-and-white dress is a Christmas dress from like four years ago Bianca chose because they were supposed to wear black and white. Yes, that's my ten-year-old daughter wearing a size six dress. Remarkably, it still fits. She is small, which makes the fact that she plays the double bass even funnier. But still, this is a far cry from the special new dress I got for my concert, but hey, that's what she chose to wear.

Smoker

2011-12-22T06:27:00.000-08:00

I was driving carpool a week ago and was singing along with a Steve Miller song that was playing on the radio. As I sang, "I'm a joker, I'm a smoker, I'm a midnight toker," the little girl Ava who I take to preschool with Portia gasped.

I quickly turned to her and explained, "No, I'm not really a smoker. I'm just singing along with this song."

Portia chimed in, "But my dad's a smoker."

I turned to Portia and said, "No, he's not, Portia. Your dad isn't a smoker."

"Yes, he is," she replied. "He smoked a turkey on Thanksgiving."

I hate to think of the other things that get misinterpreted. Gotta love innocent children!

Disembarking

2011-12-19T13:05:00.000-08:00

The final stretch the ship had to travel back to port was a little rocky. Bianca got a little seasick, but slept it off with an afternoon nap. On the first night, they had family karaoke. Bianca sang 3 songs (one with her dad) and Eric sang some '80's metal song with the real band. Susannah and I even sang an '80's Madonna song, Crazy for You. Because we have a very similar voice, it made me feel that it wasn't really me singing.

We had sea days on the Friday and Saturday so there were a lot of fun activities for the kids and us too. We discovered tea time at three, where the servers dressed in tuxedos and they served little tea cakes and treats. Mom and I did tea both days. Eric and Bianca joined us on Friday.

Eric played trivia a couple of times. I mostly read out on the deck. Portia's age group had a pirate day one time. More face paint. She loves this.

Bianca's age group did scavenger hunts around the ship and they made t-shirts. In fact, Bianca made a really good friend her age, named Jocelyn, from right here in Utah. They ran around the boat together the entire last day.

We had the last elegant night, so we all dressed up one last time.

We were surprised to find our towel creation that night. Here's Portia after we found the monkey hanging from our ceiling:

With all the excitement of being out to sea and the warm weather, it was difficult to remember that it was December and as such, Christmas season. Every once in a while, we'd run into a Christmas tree on the ship but not often.

On Friday, they actually had a Christmas show with the kids from Camp Carnival doing a couple of things. Bianca's age had prepared a dance routine. Bianca did it, even though she's not so fond of dancing. Portia's age group wore reindeer antlers and sat on the stage while the narrator told a Christmas story. One of the ship's dancers took a liking to Portia and had Portia sit in her lap the entire time. After the show, they even created snow on the ship using bubbles that fell from the very top all the way down all the ten levels of the ship. Now we have snow in Utah. A lot. But it's amazing how extremely excited Portia was to see it snowing on the ship. I don't think she caught a snowflake in her mouth, thankfully, although she'd given it her best shot.

All good things must come to an end. I was actually done by the seventh and final day. Portia said she thought we should live on the boat forever, but I was ready to head home. We disembarked in the morning on Sunday and began our 10-hour-drive home. Fortunately, we didn't run into any real snow so the drive was wonderfully uneventful.

The Doorways of Puerto Vallarta

2011-12-14T10:18:00.000-08:00

I thought it'd be a fun project to take pictures of doorways and doors in Puerto Vallarta to make my experience (and photos) a little more unique. Both girls were on board at the beginning.

Here are some doors at the cathedral. First, the tiniest door (I'm pretty sure this is a tithing or donation compartment):

Next, is another small door, although a little larger than the first. It didn't actually open.

This next doorway looks right into the cathedral where people are sitting and worshipping. Wow, it's beautiful!

After we left the cathedral, we just stopped in front of random buildings and houses.

Halfway through my doorway project, when Bianca's smiles started turning into sneers from too much picture taking, I decided to carry on with Portia only. At four, there's much less attitude.

This one is probably my favorite door of the day. I love the wooden door behind the wrought iron gate with carved fish in it.

These next two look very similar, but they're not the same.

I love this little heart door with the red-and-white surround. It would make a nice Valentine's Day card.

This one might be my very favorite. Inside the wrought iron was an abandoned shop:

The most decrepit door of the day. It was boarded over with corrugated tin. This one was in the jungle.

I love this one of Bianca because it was the doors to a girl's school and we even captured a cute Mexican schoolgirl waiting on the steps. Bianca's only a little surly in this photo.

This door was huge. Another of my favorites.

I'm going to include one last door. It's one you've seen already, but I love this picture because it actually captures my 10-year-old Bianca who sometimes seems like she doesn't need me anymore loving me up. I'll take what I can get.

Puerto Vallarta

2011-12-14T09:39:00.000-08:00

When we awoke on Thursday morning and the ship was docked at Puerto Vallarta, I didn't think it was anything special. Not like the first glimpse of Cabo San Lucas. We didn't have a plan. So we got off the ship and went for a van ride with "Hector" in his white van.

Our first stop was Wal-Mart Mexico where Eric was trying to find the "cane sugar" Cokes. Because it was all in Spanish, we couldn't read the ingredients on the can and the poor Wal-Mart worker must have thought we were a bunch of crazy Americans trying to know whether there was sugar in a Coke. Whether it was made with sugar or not, I got a Coke. Bianca bought a cool Mohito Squirt, which I wished I'd gotten. It was amazing.

After that, Hector took us to a catholic cathedral.

We walked down to the beach from there. Bianca had to use the bathroom so we learned a little Spanish "Banos, por favor." The bar by the beach didn't mind. The Burger King later, however, when Portia had to go said we had to buy something before we could use the banos. We'd have to wait. We wandered up the beach, visited a marketplace, and made our way back to Hector in the van.

Next, Hector took us for a quick stop at a jewelry store where they didn't mind letting us use the banos. Then we went higher up in the city to see some scenic views. Wow, this city is picturesque!

Here are mom and Eric:

Our next stop was at the jungle. There was a restaurant there but we didn't eat. In fact, the entire day, no one even mentioned food at all. Not even Portia. We really had been eating way too much on the ship. In the jungle, we just explored. A lot. Most of us (even those in tennis shoes) got our feet wet trying to walk across the stones in the river.

I love this tree trunk. It looks like it could wake up any moment and slither away.

Bianca with her cousins, Ethan and Aidan.

There was plenty of dueling with their walking sticks.

There were even some parrots there.

Our last stop was the beach. The kids played in the water and Bianca got her hair done while sitting on the beach. We bought a handkerchief dress for Bianca and a swan ring. Portia didn't ask for anything except for water to splash through. She definitely got that.

Surprisingly, Puerto Vallarto was my very favorite place on the trip.

Cabo San Lucas

2011-12-13T14:01:00.000-08:00

On Tuesday morning, we were in port at Cabo San Lucas. It really is quite stunning from the boat. I mean, really, look at this magnificent place. And the weather was gorgeous. I hadn't packed enough "summer" clothes. I guess I didn't actually think it could be in the eighties.

We had to take a short boat ride off the ship. We were bombarded with people offering to take us where we wanted to go. But they would say $20 and then say, no, they could not take us to the beach we actually wanted to go to. It really was quite frustrating. While we were sorting things out, we noticed they had a booth where you could have your picture taken with real lion cubs. Portia, my Lion King lover, really wanted to pet the lion cub. It was really cute. But we paid more than Eric wanted, but Eric loves to "negotiate". Me, not so much.

Finally, we found someone to take us to the beach. We rode on the Manuelita over to the beach where we laid out in the sun and let the kids swim in the waves. The rocks are quite stunning and I took the opportunity while they were trying to sun-dry their swimsuits to take some pictures of my girls by the rocks. Bianca ended up losing one of her earrings in the ocean and Eric stayed back with her to find a new pair, some "tortugas" earrings.

Our boat driver then took us over to the rocks to see where the sea lions were sleeping in the sun and then around the rocks.

We had two days in Cabo San Lucas. I opted to stay on the boat with Portia on the second day, while everyone else went back into town. They ate tacos at Cabo Wabo. Here are Bianca, Ethan, and Aidan.

I just read some more and rested. Portia and I had a really fun mommy-daughter lunch together. I can't end another day on the ship without showing you another awesome towel creation. This time an elephant.

Embarking

2011-12-12T22:23:00.000-08:00

We walked on board the Splendor on Sunday afternoon after standing in a much-too-long line. As soon as we made our way to our cabin, I unpacked. With four people staying in a room the size of one bedroom for a week, you've got to be organized. I put everything away in its place. There were bunk beds for the girls and a king for Eric and me. We got a balcony room so at least there was somewhere to go in case you just needed to get out. Here's our balcony.

Then we explored. Susannah and her family were staying on a different level of the ship with Mom so we found their rooms. But mostly we explored the lido deck with its endless supply of ice cream and pizza and lemonade. Then we located all the swimming pools and the miniature golf course and other things that would be of interest. We had dinner in the dining room that evening and met our server Alexander who would have his work cut out for him, poor guy. There were a lot of kids at our table.

I was happy nobody got sick after the ship started moving. I actually kind of like the feeling of movement under my feet and especially the feeling of being rocked to sleep in my bed at night.

On Monday, the girls went to Camp Carnival and they both loved it right away. Portia was excited that her "cruise preschool" would have no worksheets. They did all sorts of fun stuff like sing songs and make crafts and there was a lot, a lot of face painting, which Portia loved.

Bianca made lots of friends right away and loved all the scavenger hunts and games she played with the other kids. She met a girl from Layton and hung out with her a lot. She kept wanting to go back to Camp Carnival and since she could sign herself in and out as she pleased, she felt very independent.

The kids went swimming in the afternoon--Bianca down the water slide over and over; Portia stuck to the "hot pool."

For my part, I mainly laid around on the deck with a book and took intermittent naps when I felt like it. There's nothing like a nap between chapters with the sun warming my face and toes.

Monday night was the first "Elegant" night. We dressed up and had lobster. The pumpkin spice soup was amazing! Bianca took to ordering adult meals and really liked trying new things. Portia stuck to the chicken tenders and the fruit cup. The chocolate melting cake is something I looked forward to every night at dinner.

The kids loved sitting by their cousins at the table. Bianca usually sat between Ethan (10) and Aidan (8), while Portia had to sit by Anna (5). They don't get to see their cousins very often so it was a real treat for them to spend this entire week with them.

In the evening, the kids went to Camp Carnival, and the adults went to a comedy show. It was funny, and it was nice to have everything be so easy.

One of my favorite things was the housekeeping visits twice a day. Our housekeeper Lydia seemed to be always there and taking care of us. I wish I could take her home with me. Seriously. I'm considering doing the make the bed in the morning/put the bed down at night visits at home.

The girls LOVED the towel creations she left on the bed each night. On Monday night, we got a puppy. Well, the girls think. I'm still not sure it wasn't a pig.

Off to bed for another night of the water rocking me to sleep.

A worthwhile detour

2011-12-12T08:59:00.000-08:00

I had a long 10-hour drive (half of it through a snowstorm driving south in Utah) to realize that while I'm intense about some things in a bad way (see previous blog), I'm also really intense about the things my kids love. I've learned to love classical music because Bianca loves it. Portia loves koalas. That's why we drove two hours farther at 2 am Friday night to go to the San Diego Zoo so she could see a real-life koala. And it was so worth it.

We arrived in San Diego at 4 am, slept a good five hours in a hotel, then awoke and headed to the zoo. It was really wonderful and really, really expensive. And the first thing we saw were the koalas and they were so cute and cuddly. Portia wore her koala shirt and brought her stuffed baby koala (Kalli) with us. The man at the zoo even gave Portia a cluster of eucalyptus leaves for her to feed to Kalli.

Bianca loves turtles and tortoises. The San Diego Zoo had a ton of different species and varieties. Her favorites were the giant tortoises.

They also had a panda bear and polar bears and it was overall a really nice day (not too crowded either). We drove to LA after the zoo to stay the night with Susannah, where my mom met us also, to wait until it was time to board the ship. . .

My Birthday

2011-12-03T22:26:00.000-08:00

I'm learning in my advancing years that birthdays just aren't what they used to be. When you're an adult and a parent, the world doesn't just stop for the day when it's your birthday. Life must carry on.

On Wednesday, my 36th birthday, I got up early and took carpool to preschool and then waited around to get to Bianca's school at the right time to see her presentation she'd been working so hard on for the History Fair. Bianca had done her project on the revolution of ragtime (music). Instead of doing a board or web site, Bianca prepared a "performance" where she was a college professor teaching her mock (or invisible) class, Music History 101. She had to have it all memorized. She prepared four ragtime excerpts to play. We had gone over it and over it the night before.

The teacher sent me and the other parents home, saying the judge hadn't shown up and would we please return an hour and a half later. So I drove home and returned later. At that time, Bianca did her presentation. It was good. It wasn't perfect. In the middle of the performance, right as Bianca was supposed to play Maple Leaf Rag, she drew a blank, looked to me as if there was something I could do when she realized that she hadn't brought the piano music up with her. She turned to the teacher and asked if she could get it. The teacher said yes. When it was all over, I told Bianca she should have been prepared and more organized and began walking away. As I turned away to leave, I heard another student's mom go up to Bianca and gush over how awesome she did. And I sadly walked to my car and drove home and wondered why I can't just accept that she did pretty good and still tell her how wonderfully she did. Why do I always have to be so intense about everything? Why do I require perfection?

I felt bad all day. I prepared what I would say to Bianca when she walked in the door after school, heartbroken that she didn't proceed on to district for the History Fair. I would tell her that I know she's so wonderful and I just want everyone else to see what I see and she needs to live up to her potential.

Much to my surprise, Bianca came home from school much happier than I anticipated. She said the judge finally showed up in the afternoon (I hadn't realized she wasn't there earlier). She was able to do her performance again and did it much better and the judge told her she'd be moving on. I'm so happy for her. Well, sort of. The History Fair for the district is in March. That's a lot more time to have to keep working on and perfecting her project.

My birthday ended on an up after all. Besides the exciting news about History Fair, Eric made me a special birthday dinner and we enjoyed it candlelit and with good relaxed conversation after the girls were in bed. For that little while in the candle-light, I guess the world did stop after all.

Here's a little peek of Bianca's (I mean, Professor Mezzoforte's) History Fair project in the time before my camera's batteries died:

My Purr-fect Cat--well, almost

2011-11-18T08:42:00.000-08:00

I'm a self-proclaimed cat person. Seriously, if I weren't married, I'd have an apartment filled with them. I love cats. I always have since I was a kid. And then I had a string of them --Ayla, Meow Meow, Veronica, there were more. We lived close to the highway and our cats were always the adventurous type, which required a lot of replacing. Sad, really.

Anyway, Jillyboo has not disappointed. I made a discovery over the last couple of months that confirms what an awesome cat she is. So, as many of you know, I've struggled trying to get our dog Tigger to go to the bathroom outside. If I don't make him go outside, he won't. So I have to keep him jailed in his kennel, make sure he goes in order to give him any freedom at all. And even though, he usually sidles off when I'm least suspecting it and goes somewhere in the house. Amidst all this, my smart cat decided she prefers using the outdoor potty to her litter box. I went to change the litter box, which is the one thing I hate about having a cat, and there was nothing there. Seriously, for two months now. At first when she'd stand by the door wanting to go outside and I'd let her, only to see her wanting to come back in a couple minutes later, I thought she was just being indecisive. No, my cat's showing Tigger up. I seriously adore this cat.

Portia thinks Jillyboo gets her vibrant blue eyes from my side of the family. And although she is beautiful--even prettier than a full-blood Siamese--and I don't have to change a litter box anymore, I admit she's not completely perfect. She has a mean streak, as is obvious by the claw marks we all have on our arms from moments when we least suspect she's feeling vicious. Seriously, we can just be petting her, she's purring, and then she'll attack. We've learned to warn each other when she's a "porcupine." And I don't even want to think about her favorite place to scratch (my cool green couch in the front room that now needs to be re-upholstered). But still, none of us can walk by her without touching her. She is the softest cat I've ever seen. And I've known a lot of cats.

It's probably better that I have kids rather than an apartment full of cats. Just think of the full litter boxes. No, I'd rather not.

College Reunion

2011-11-16T08:18:00.000-08:00

Eric and I were the Monica and Chandler (Friends) of our BYU apartment complex. In fact, when I was in college at BYU, living in an apartment directly above a guy apartment filled with our best friends, "Friends" was one of our favorite TV shows. Eric and I weren't obsessed in love like Ross with Rachel, but Eric and I fell in love surprisingly (surprising ourselves really) and slowly as friends do, like Monica and Chandler. But before any of that, we were all one big group of friends first.

It surprises me now that Eric and his group of friends get together in a college-reunion weekend once or twice a year (although it usually involves only the guys and some white-water rafting), while my college roommates don't see much of each other. I see my roommate Tammy when I'm in California visiting my sister, and my roommate Celeste actually lives in Herriman nearby--we get together every couple months and do something fun with our kids. But that's it. The girls group has never had a reunion.

This weekend, two of Eric's college roommates drove down from Idaho with a couple medium-aged kids for one of their weekend reunions (the other roommate lives in Herriman too). I kind of stayed on the wayside (after all, this is the guy reunion) but I know them all and my kids had an absolute blast with their kids.

The kids started out the day playing Rock Band.

They went to see Puss in Boots at the movie theatre and then stopped by the Disney "Up" house in Herriman on their way back.

They headed down to BYU campus to walk around, go to the bookstore and BYU Creamery, and to see this awesome book sculpture at the Museum of Art. Yes, that sculpture is made out of over 80,000 pounds of books. Since I stayed home with Portia, I wasn't there for this. I've got to see this one first-hand soon. Good thing I live here.

They capped off their day at the BYU v. Idaho football game.

They had a really fun weekend. I swear, if I were more organized and had more energy, I would try to arrange a girls college reunion. Maybe someday. . .

Volunteering

2011-11-11T10:15:00.000-08:00

I haven't done a whole lot of volunteering in Bianca's classroom. Part of me has been afraid of bringing Portia along (from the time she was born Bianca was in kindergarten) and then when Portia was in preschool, it was my only writing time. So I'm ashamed to say I've only been in Bianca's classroom for an occasional holiday party before now.

This year, Bianca's teacher was putting together book groups and needed parents to volunteer. It was on Friday mornings when Portia was at preschool. I was tempted. After all, it's no secret that I love books and reading and love talking about books. But still, there was a new rule at the school about getting fingerprinted and you had to drive all the way across the city to do it and I frankly didn't want to have to do that. Well, no moms volunteered for the book groups so Bianca volunteered me for her group. At first I was a little irritated, but after the first discussion (we read five chapters for each "meeting") I was hooked. I really came to enjoy the time I was spending in Bianca's classroom (actually in the cafeteria at a little red round table), overseeing her in the discussions and interacting with the other kids in her group. We read and discussed Fever 1793 by Laurie Halse Anderson. It was historical fiction based on the Yellow Fever outbreak that took place near the time of the signing of the Declaration of Independence.

My group from Mrs. Jensen's fifth grade class

Today was our last meeting. It was a little rowdy (as the kids will be if you let them as I kind of did) and we juggled and answered questions for candy. I'm sad. I'll miss going in on Fridays.

Maybe I'll volunteer on my own next time. I'd definitely be up for leading another book group discussion.

Trick-or-Treat, smell my feet!

2011-11-08T07:52:00.000-08:00

Halloween fell on a Monday this year. Not exactly ideal. All the parties had been the week before, so that just left Halloween. After school, we did trick-or-treating at Eric's work. I swear, that's the easiest candy you can get. You don't even have to knock on doors. People are hanging out at their cubicles with their bowls of candy. I think we get more candy in that 20 minutes than we do traditional trick-or-treating for two hours. Bianca had quite a few requests to play (as she was Mozart) and they always gave her extra candy for playing. Her favorite was playing the tune for "trick-or-treat, smell my feet, give me something good to eat."

The traffic was horrible on the way home. Eric picked up a Pumpkin-shaped pizza from Papa Murphy's for dinner. Bianca went trick-or-treating with a friend from class Aleksa, who lives in Herriman. Our cute neighbor friend, Cassidy, came over and went trick-or-treating with Portia and me. I don't know how it happened by I ended up with more pictures of Cassidy than Bianca.

Portia has been wearing her koala costume for over a month now. It's all stained with food and it's matted from overuse because she wears it every day. She took her "character" very seriously and spent half the night going from door to door on all fours. The weather was gorgeous and Portia was able to stay out trick-or-treating until 8:30.

When Bianca returned, she categorized candy and traded with Portia, just as I did when I was a kid. Some things never change.

Witches Brew 2011

2011-11-07T09:32:00.000-08:00

So I may have been even more excited about Portia's preschool Witches Brew than she was this year. It's not your typical Halloween party. It's a no-costume, 5-course etiquette luncheon. Her teacher goes all out and when I dropped Portia off that morning (after giving her a bath and dressing her in a fancy dress), you could feel the magic in the room.

They did a craft--witches legs filled with candy corns, complete with little witch boots, wrap skirt and belt. Portia decided she wanted to keep it as a decoration for next year instead of eating the candy corns.

Portia was escorted to her seat at the table by a gentleman. This time, it was Hudson. Because there are fewer boys in the class, those poor little gentlemen stay busy.

Since they're the morning class, the meal included breakfast-type foods--lots of fruit, yogurts, eggs and bacon.

But don't worry, there was candy as well.

The program included the act of McBeth with the three witches. Yes, that's my theory too: Kids are never too young to learn to appreciate Shakespeare.

The photographer came to take pictures of the class (there were over 600 photos on the disc).

Here's Portia with Miss Melissa:

This is one of Portia's newest best friends, Naomi. Portia tells me they love to play kittens together.

After all the fun, here are the kids getting ready to head home, their arms full of their goodies.

Just looking at the pictures brings some Halloween magic back. I'll leave you with some. . .

Halloween Fun

2011-10-31T08:51:00.000-07:00

I love the weeks leading up to holidays but they are so, so busy!

On Thursday, the Herriman orchestra had their Halloween Hi-Jinx concert. Bianca's group (the violas and cellos) had to dress-up as witches. It took a little scraping things together and layering a couple witch costumes we were able to get our hands on, but her costume turned out really cute. She even dressed up her viola with a chain that attached to her.

Eric sung in the choir and his group--the basses and tenors--couldn't quite make up their minds on a theme, so they were a big hodgepodge of Halloween characters. Eric's costume was some kind of video game (I can't quite remember what it's called now). He looked pretty scary after the make-up. It was funny, though. Portia--my scaredy-cat usually--clung to Eric that night.

Don't mind me, I'm playing around with editing my photos. I love the swirly option on photobucket. Yeah, I know, I'm an amateur.

On Friday, Bianca's school had their costume parade and class Halloween party. Bianca's costume this year is Mozart. We improvised with this Victorian Boy costume and called it Mozart. She walked through the parade playing Turkish March and Danse Macabre (because she had it memorized from the Herriman Hi-Jinx concert). Pretty creative, I thought. Then I was in charge of the pumpkin bowling station at her class party. It was a lot of work to keep setting up the pins (filled water bottles) but the kids seemed to really like it. Here's Bianca with Jakon and Makayla from her fifth-grade class.

Eric went home to Dallas this weekend so I made it a point to make sure we did tons of fun things. We spent Friday night with Aunt Joanie and Uncle Bruce. We ate beef stew for dinner and then went through some of Grandma Peggy's things. She loved pretty crystal dishes and milk glass. I took quite a bit of stuff and am wondering if I'm fancy enough to use it. I'm going to try.

On Saturday, I dressed the girls up in their witch costumes, and we went to spot the witches at Gardner Village. We had a nice lunch at Archibald's, tried Fried Green Tomatoes, and then walked around looking for witches. At night, we went to the free haunted house a neighbor does every year (Portia refused to go in at the last moment).

After putting Portia to bed, Bianca and I watched the movie Coraline together because we had both read the book recently. The movie was even more creepy than the book, if that's possible!

On Sunday, the girls and I designed and carved a kitty cat jack-o-lantern and baked pumpkin seeds. The weekend without Eric didn't seem so long after all. In fact, the whole month of October flew by like a witch on a broom. I'll be sad to take down the Halloween decorations tomorrow.

Cardinals Win!

2011-10-29T15:49:00.000-07:00

My huband Eric and I have had a friendly little bout of trash talk in our house the last week or so. The baseball World Series put Eric's Texas Rangers up against my St. Louis Cardinals. It was all in fun. In fact, I didn't even sit down to watch any of the games up until game seven last night when Cardinals cinched it. Their win reminded me of my favorite Cardinals memory so I thought I'd share in light of the Cardinals world title:

When I was in high school, straight A students got free Cardinals tickets. I was a pretty good student and thus got quite a few opportunities to watch the Cardinals play in Busch Stadium. But it was funny, every time I would go to the game, I would hear someone yelling out my name: "Jeana!" "Jeana!" I was always looking around. After a game or two, I realized it was the man selling peanuts, yelling out, "Peanuts!" "Peanuts!"

I was telling this to my sister Betsy years later when we were adults and she said the same thing happened to her. She'd be searching the stands for whoever it was yelling, "Betsy!" "Betsy!" It was the Pepsi man, yelling out, "Pepsi!" Pepsi!"

Congratulations, Cardinals!

How does one choose?

2011-10-24T11:05:00.000-07:00

I have a friend who graciously left her four children and went to take photos of my child.

On Friday, I gave Portia a bath and put her in a fancy dress (a Jottum Rembrandt dress I'd been eyeing for years and never thought I'd have because even secondhand, it's ridiculously priced). It wasn't until I found an ebay-like web site all in Dutch where I can get stuff a bit cheaper. I have to use google translate to read the fine print and then use google translate to write to them in Dutch and ask whether they'll send to the US. Sometimes they will; sometimes they won't.

My photographer friend Crystal took me to old Lehi where there's a little alcove behind some businesses with random stuff scattered around. She particularly liked this door, which is now a little boarded over.

There are so many good photos I don't even know where to begin. There are pictures of Portia sitting on this chair:

Then there are some on the picnic table:

I'd like to print out some bigger ones but how do I even choose? I mean, seriously, I made a folder to keep my favorites separated and over half the pictures (somewhere around 30) were in it.

I hadn't done professional photographs of Portia since she was an infant and then it was only once. When we were at Sear's (yes, Sear's), they made these black and white photos and put color in the eyes. Only problem was, they put the wrong color on the eyes, which meant it wasn't really my children's eye color. So Crystal did it the right way, using Portia's real blue:

Then there's always the one with the barrel, which just may be my very favorite:

On our way back, we went past this abandoned building where we had to hoist Portia up into a green window with the cool brown shutters. Another one of my very favorites.

I'm lucky: My dilemma is too many good pictures. I'll definitely take this problem over the alternative.

Sparkly

2011-10-24T07:40:00.000-07:00

A year or two ago, Bianca informed me that a bunch of her friends call her "Sparkly" because she wears a lot of sparkly things--clothes with rhinestones and sequins. I'm not sure if they still call her that. From what I understand, some of the kids call her BBQ (her initials are BQ) so I guess that makes sense too. I think she has more reason now than ever, though, to be called Sparkly.

Although this isn't late-breaking news, Bianca's teeth sparkle. She's had braces now for about a year. Her mouth was quite a mess when the orthodontist started--underbite, crossbite, she still had all her baby teeth on top. But now she's got her braces and with encouragement from me for extra brushing, she's keeping them pretty sparkly.

On Saturday, Bianca added a little more sparkle. She sat in the chair at Claire's, tried to look as brave as she possibly could while two women punched holes into her ears and left sparkly rhinestone earrings. Since she was 10 ("two holes for two digits"), I'd said she could have her ears pierced. She wasn't sure at first that she wanted to do it, but finally decided yes, she did. She chose rhinestone daisies, which will go with everything since she has to wear these earrings for 6 weeks. She is very excited. There's even some sparkle in her eyes as she keeps saying, "I can't believe I did it."

Harvest

2011-10-22T10:36:00.000-07:00

This has been the best autumn we've had since I moved to Utah. Usually fall lasts anywhere from 1 to 5 days in Utah. But this year, we're still going strong after three weeks of nice fall weather. And my garden is still producing.

We had quite a crop this year of cherry and heirloom tomatoes and lemon cucumbers. I didn't realize what monsters the lemon cucumbers would become. Their vines wrapped around and tried to pull down my raspberries (in fact, I found one lemon cucumber hanging from the raspberry bush and I had to thoroughly inspect it to make sure it was not actually growing from the raspberry plant). The lemon cucumbers turned our regular green cucumbers into long fat yellow cucumbers (see photo at very top). The vines crept into the other garden box and began pointing their leafy fingers right at our very healthy tomato plants, implying "You're next." I don't know if I'll do lemon cucumbers again; it sure was a good thing that they tasted really good AND that Bianca likes cucumber sandwiches (and any number of other summer salads that include a lot of cucumber). My neighbors seemed to like them too.

Bianca wants to grow them again next year, but if we do, it'll have to be somewhere on the other side of the yard away from the other helpless plants. Bianca offered up her garden box, but she's had a healthy crop of peppers this year (of all varieties and colors) so we'll see if we're ready for such a high maintenance vegetable come next spring.

Cousins and grandma

2011-10-13T08:21:00.001-07:00

It's over, thank goodness!

2011-10-08T10:22:00.000-07:00

Back when I was a new mom, I had planned the perfect Angelina Ballerina birthday party for Bianca's fourth birthday. I hand-crafted headbands with felt mouseling glitter ears, complete with pink bow and tuft of white fur. I had rosebud tutus to give each girl. I had packed treat bags with special Angelina Ballerina stickers, an Angelina Ballerina book, special everything. I spent hours scouring books and party web sites for the perfect ballerina games. I had ordered a cheesecake to go with the "mouse" theme. But when the girls arrived, no one wanted to play the games I'd planned, no one wore their mouseling ears, and no one would touch the cheesecake. It was a huge failure, and I nearly broke down into tears (it was half a year after Miranda's death so I wasn't really in my right mind anyway). This was the last "real" party I put my heart into. Sadly, it's tainted me ever since. Poor Portia is 4 and hasn't yet had a birthday party (I promise we'll do one when she turns five in April, no matter what.)

The point I'm making is that since that party six years ago, I refuse to create expectations about my kids' birthday parties. In fact, I've pretty much shunned the idea of even having the kids at our house since. I do a birthday party every other year for Bianca. And this year, she's turning 10 (tomorrow actually) and it was her year for a party. After much talk, deliberation, and research, I decided to have a sleepover (but late night for kids who couldn't stay the night). I had to pretty much gear up and accept it's going to be one really tough night, but it's only once every two years. I can handle that, right?

We decided to do a "spooky" birthday party. Bianca made up her own invitations, which included "You're in-Bited to a Birthday Party." She's turning ten so I said she could invite ten girls. She decided to include only kids from her class so that everyone would know each other and be able to have fun together. I bought a pack of create-your-own-Halloween-masks from Target which they made upon arrival, and we ate pizza, ate ice cream cake from Culvers (so good), and opened presents. Then they watched "Spooky Buddies." It was funny because some people were commenting "This is so cheesy" while others were really scared. It's hard to find a nice balance at this 10-11 year old group. They played a little Rock Band and the girls sang Dynamite together (which they had worked on at school in their "Sing-a-song" group and pretty much sang all night anyway).

Most of the kids left around 10. Only three girls stayed the night, which was about perfect. So the four of them all snuggled into the queen bed in our guest room and got to bed around 11:30 pm. Not too bad, really.

As I cleaned up the house this morning after donuts and chocolate milk, I felt a huge sense of relief. Bianca had the best time. And it was wonderful for her. And if it's wonderful for her, I should be happy. But really, I'm happy that it's over more than anything else!

Winter's Tale

2011-10-03T09:35:00.000-07:00

On Saturday, Bianca and I went to Cedar City for the Utah Shakespeare Festival. We've tried to make it a tradition to go each year, didn't end up going last year, and just barely made it for this year. But I really wanted to go this year because they were performing The Winter's Tale. (I forgot to bring my camera so have no pictures from this weekend.)

We stayed at the Big Yellow Inn Bed & Breakfast and got a free upgrade to the Master's Suite (gotta love a pretty much dead weekend). Bianca even had her own little room with TV. She loved that. We did each other's nails and relaxed in the afternoon.

We were disappointed to find out they don't do a Green Show for the fall season, but fortunately the college students had a comedy juggling act going on that night. The play was great. The Winter's Tale is dear to me because it's the story my current YA novel is based upon. I'm about 1/3 of the way through and dearly lacking inspiration so I wanted to see the original play performed to help me move over my hump. This is one of the hardest of Shakespeare's plays to put into genre because if it were finished at the intermission mark (halfway through), it would be categorized as a tragedy, but after the second half (and the fact that everything works out just swell at the end), it is categorized as a comedy. In my novel, I'm choosing to focus on Perdita and Philomel's story rather than the parents. I did realize as Hermoine is pretending to be a statue at the end that I still need to fill in some holes in my own plotline--how does one fake dead/fake a statue in a real-life modern-day setting? I've got some things to think about.

Bianca ended up falling asleep midway through the second act and I had to keep shaking her because she was snoring. Silly tired girl!

We slept hard that night and woke up to a delicious B&B breakfast (this is really the reason why I prefer staying in B&Bs; well, that and the antiques!) and then headed the three hours home. We stopped in Santaquin for a scone the size of my thigh (not kidding) smeared with honey-butter. So worth the calories!

It was a short weekend, but a lot of fun! I hope Bianca remembers these special weekends we spent together when she's older. Hopefully she'll form a life-long love for Shakespeare too!

Cleaning windows

2011-09-26T12:45:00.000-07:00

Portia LOVES to help clean around the house. She asked me if she could clean the windows. She finished the inside and then she wanted to go do the outside. I let her. Now she's outside washing down her bicycle. I wish she were a little taller and I'd let her go around to the back of the house as well!

Penny

2011-09-16T09:11:00.000-07:00

Bianca had an orchestra clinic the last two days. She, my tiny 5th grader, lugged her double-bass there (nearly toppling over every time she put it on her back) and I couldn't help notice people staring (and chuckling) as she walked past them. The top of the bass hits the top of most door frames, so Bianca has to lean forward to fit it through. It really is so cute I couldn't help laughing myself. The double-bass takes up a whole seat in my car (because I have to put a seat down in order to fit it inside).

She named her bass Penny (derived from Pig Pen of the Peanuts fame). Despite its bass voice, she's a girl. Bianca loves to name all her instruments. Maybe that's why she gets so attached to them. Her viola is named Viol; her cello is named Charlie Brown. Portia's violin is even named Vio-Lindsay.

Last night all the kids in the elementary school orchestra clinic played several songs together. Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star, Mary had a Little Lamb, Hot Cross Buns. What amazed me more than anything wasn't that Bianca picked up another instrument so quickly, but that amongst 40-50 kids (most of them playing the violin) that you could hear the bass vibrating so loudly through it all. I told Bianca I could hear all her wrong notes (she said she wouldn't be playing any wrong notes). Well, she's always an optimist.

This morning as Bianca was practicing, she picked up another song. Jingle Bells. Not bad for her third day playing Penny.

Three Little Kittens

2011-09-14T11:18:00.000-07:00

Portia's been having a hard time going to preschool this last couple of weeks since Bianca is off track. She says she doesn't want to "work, work, work." So I've been trying to help her have more fun; I even let her wear a tutu to preschool today. Then she came home with this kitty mask and showed me how they have been learning the "Three Little Kittens" poem. How can she not be having fun?

First Day of Preschool--this year

2011-08-19T08:33:00.000-07:00

Today was Portia's first day of preschool for the year. Since Bianca's been in school for over three weeks now, Portia was definitely ready. All of the children from last year's class are in her class again. I absolutely love this preschool. They'll be focusing a little more on violin this year, learning French, reading mastery (broken into two groups by ability), and all the other good stuff--poetry recitation, singing, etc. Portia's real talent lies in art, so there's painting and drawing as well. We will be carpooling again this year since it's about a 12-minute drive to get to preschool. I know it's a long way to drive, but it's totally worth it to me. I'm a stay-at-home mom; isn't my job to put my kids first? Bianca always jokes that she wished she had gone to a preschool like Portia's when she was younger. Believe me, if it had been around then, I would have sent her to Kinderprep Academy too.

Even though Bianca's well into fifth grade now, it's still new to her as well. She told me last night that her class is learning Hindi (how cool is that?) and they've been really focusing on states and capitals this year. I love the way Mrs. Jensen does spelling (so does Bianca) because they have a test on Monday and the kids only have to test on Friday for the words they mis-spell on Monday. This is the first week Bianca's had any spelling words at all. She is a really great speller, but when you read as much as she does, how can you NOT be? Bianca has also been taking great care of herself this year and this morning I even caught her straightening her hair with the flat-iron--by herself. Orchestra should be starting up in September and Bianca's going to start the double-bass this year in beginner/still playing viola in advanced. I can't wait to get a picture of her playing that big thing! We will be leaving it at school though, as there's no way she can lug the double-bass to and from school.

I'm going to end this post with a funny story I don't want to forget. Bianca teaches Family Home Evening each week (we do it on Sunday evenings because Eric has work meetings late on Monday). Bianca has also played the piano for the opening and closing hymns so that we can all sing. Lately, though, Portia has wanted to do her part. She insists that she get to do an opening "hmmm" as well. It's so funny to hear her say it. Then she goes over and plays a couple notes on the piano and that's it. So worth it just to hear her say, "opening hmmm."

I'll put a flower in your hair

2011-08-17T12:58:00.000-07:00

Toward the end of Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat, Bianca wanted to stand out a little more--since she's in the orchestra with required black t-shirt and black jeans and black shoes. So one night she wore a scarf. The next night, she asked me to put some flowers in her hair. We have this great rose bush that creates the tiniest little roses. Her hair was so pretty. She liked it so much (and got so many compliments) that we did it every night for the rest of the performances. I couldn't help it, but everytime I was doing her hair, I'd sing the lyrics to that Jason Mraz song "Lucky": "I'll put a flower in your hair." One night I even took a couple pictures.

Paper Arts

2011-08-10T07:49:00.000-07:00

I've been meaning to write about this for a while and finally things seems to be settling down a little. At the end of the preschool-year, Portia took a paper-arts class from her preschool teacher Miss Melissa. They made some of the cutest things so I just had to share. Portia is wearing the crown with "P" they made, and they also made the cute USA flags here. I know it's time to take these down for the year as both 4th of July and Pioneer Day are way over, but I just can't seem to do it. Can't we be patriotic all the year long? The kids also made some scrapbooks out of paper bags that we filled in with pictures. These are all definitely keepers.

Portia's showing the little bobble-head turtle she got at the Cahokia Mounds in July. And what kind of a mom can't take a second and wipe the food off her kid's cheeks before she snaps a picture? Unfortunately, that's me. Sometimes I worry if I stop my forward momentum, I'll forget what I was doing and never get around to it. You'll be happy to know Portia's cheeks are nice and clean at the moment!

Another change

2011-08-09T07:31:00.000-07:00

Bianca's viola teacher is moving. We've known for a little while but now it's happening. I know Bianca doesn't like change (well, who does when things are going well?) but I'm dreading the change more than she is.

We have secured a new viola teacher, and I feel Bianca will learn a lot from her. She is a professor at the University of Utah and plays for the Utah Symphony. But she's quite a bit more expensive, and it's a much farther drive. I'm trying to remain optimistic and look at this as the great opportunity it is.

Over the last couple weeks, Bianca's been a little overextended. She is playing in Herriman's Community Orchestra for Joseph and the Amazing Technicolored Dreamcoat. And she loves it. I think it's really cute to see my little Bianca there among all the older kids and adults. She's by far the youngest in the group and she keeps up with them (I do think it's funny though that she sits with cross-legs and props her feet up on her case.) These performances are nearly every night until 10:30 and Bianca has to get up at 6 to practice viola and piano and then head off to school for the day. I know she's exhausted.

In addition to Joseph every night last week, Bianca had an audition for an elite orchestra downtown SLC on Saturday morning. I wasn't sure if she was ready to be a part of this particular orchestra, but I thought it wouldn't hurt to go and find out. She did awesome at the audition, but the director said she had a few fundamentals that she needs to perfect. I kind of knew it. Bianca's really talented and very musical, but she can be "wild" as her teacher Brian says. Sometimes her bow grip gets a little off and her wrist falls so she's not bowing straight. Still, it hurts anytime you're not accepted into something you want. The director wants to see Bianca again in the spring to see if she's ready then.

Saturday afternoon was Bianca's last recital with Brian. I think her exhaustion showed iteself here. She did a great job but made some uncharacteristic mistakes. I'm really proud of her and know that she does give it her all and she (usually) works very hard. She performed the following two pieces:

Where do liars go?

2011-08-05T15:04:00.000-07:00

So, I've been having a mothering problem. Namely, Bianca has been lying to me. Not about important stuff; no it's about the trivial, really unimportant stuff. Yesterday, she lied to me about practicing Wohlfahrt Foundational Studies (which is the boring exercises on viola that help strengthen fingers). She hates Wohlfahrt , throws the book against the wall and the cover has come off on both editions she's gotten through already. That's fine. I'll allow her to hate it, but she still has to practice it when her teacher assigns it to her. I knew she was lying to me because the music on her stand was the exact same that had been there the afternoon before when I was tidying up her room (yes, I know I shouldn't be doing that but I just can't stand the mess anymore). She then said it was because she had it memorized. So I grabbed the book, opened to the correct page, and said, "Okay, let's hear it." She got about two lines through it and stopped.

This made me realize this isn't the first time. It's just a culmination of other instances: "Yes, I brushed my teeth" disproven by dry bristles; "Yes, I made my bed" only to see sheets thrown about in bedlam (one of Bianca's vocabulary words this week); "Yes, I put my clothes away" only to discover them all shoved behind the bean bag chair or hidden underneath the dirty clothes never even taken out of the laundry basket. It's a problem. And I have to fix it NOW! (The messy problem will have to be a fix for another day.)

So yesterday, I was visiting with Wendy, my husband's cousin's wife whose parenting skills I admire. I asked her what I should do. Her answer, "Go to a higher authority." She told me a story about some parents who schooled their kids at under two years old about where liars go--straight to hell. When Bianca's not brushing her teeth, tell her you're taking her straight to the dentist (or I thought maybe I'd show her pictures of teeth on the Internet of people who don't brush).

So I picked Bianca up from school. I told her that I had failed her as a parent. I hadn't taught her about lying. I hadn't told her what happens to people who lie. And I would have a lesson with her--and Portia. In fact, I had already started teaching Portia so we could start early. I turned to Portia and asked her, "Where do liars go?"

Portia responded emphatically, "Hell!"

"Where will you go if you lie?"

"Hell." It became a chant.

So I asked Bianca, "Okay, lessons over. Let's see what you learned. Where do liars go?"

Bianca couldn't do it. She couldn't say it. Maybe she felt so wrong uttering a swear word (it is, right?) that she wouldn't say it.

"And look what you've done to your sister," I said. "She's now the swearing queen."

Portia chanted "Hell, hell, hell, hell" all the way home.

I hope Bianca gets it. I explained to her that she's been baptized; she's accountable for her mistakes now. Does she really want to waste it on lying about worthless things that I'll figure out anyway? I guess we'll see how this goes. Either Bianca will be whipped into shape and stop the lying or I'm going to have a four-year-old who swears like a sailor and a nine-year-old liar. Let's hope for the best!

St. Louis = Ringlets

2011-07-26T13:16:00.000-07:00

So we spent almost two and a half weeks in St. Louis this summer.

The first week was all my brothers and sisters and their spouses and was an official Family Reunion week. We started our week off on Sunday with all five of us and our families at the Waterloo branch for church. It was fun to see all the pews we filled up. And we hung out together at mom's afterwards.

The fourth of July was on Monday and mom had organized a barbecue with all of us and her side of the family at Konarcik Park. (Above: Portia and Preston played on the see-saw.) The kids mostly loved the merry-go-round and only three or four kids flew off it. We went to Columbia to watch the fireworks at The Legion afterward.

On Tuesday, we went to the zoo. The amazing St. Louis zoo. Of course we all got up early to do the free things. Here's my family riding the carousel free. Everyone else went to the Magic House but we stayed at the zoo because we hadn't been home in two years and I wanted to cover almost everything. We met at Micah and Karma's house afterward, where we ate Butter Burgers and Frozen Custard at Culver's and then did a whole night of fireworks in Micah's driveway.

On Wednesday, we drove to Meramec River to go floating. It really was fun. My little family had a raft (really a blow-up boat) and we spent most of our time just floating down the river with our lifejackets keeping us afloat. It started storming a little and we had to paddle a while to get us back in time. We spent the night at the luxurious (yes, I'm kidding) hotel near the river. The next morning, we zip-lined over the Meramec River. This was definitely more fun than I expected and exhilarating! We then toured the caverns and drove home.

On Friday, we drove up past Grafton, Illinois to an island on the Mississippi. We stopped on the way in front of this piasa bird. I think it's the only photo of the entire family we got (a couple of the small children are hiding, including my very own Portia).

After we took the ferry to the island, we ate at the buffet at the Hotel. The food really was good--and there was so much of it!

Saturday we had my book signing at the Waterloo Library. I had never done a signing before but it turned out really well. In fact, it was more of Q&A. I sold all the books I brought plus nine more. Thanks to my sister-in-law Karma for being the official book-signing photographer.

We went to Imo's Pizza for lunch, saw a movie (Zookeeper) at the Waterloo theater, and then went up to Collinsville for the Dash 'N' Splash (a 5K race). There was a lot of trash talking before the race about who was going to beat whom. Bianca ran it with me and it was so freaking hot. The race started at 6pm, which is truly unbearable in the St. Louis humidity. Fortunately, I had Bianca begging me to walk with her. I admit I was glad she held me back because there was no way I was going to beat my sister's 26-minute 5K. Afterward, they cleared out the entire water park, fed us dinner catered by Qdoba, and had a DJ there while we (and our families) ran around the splash park until ten. This was the end of the official family reunion. My brother and Eric left on Sunday.

The rest of us went to our great aunt Grace's funeral in Highland. Since I was staying on, I took my girls to do some other fun stuff. We did go to The Magic House. (Check out that hair!) This is the picture that the face recognition on Facebook asked if Bianca was Susannah Harper and Portia was Jeana. Funny, really!

We went to the Scott Joplin house, which we've never done before but it turned out pretty fun.

Science Center, shopping, Cahokia Mounds. Unfortunately, you have to throw getting sick in there. All three of us got that strange sickness of sleeping, high temp, headaches and sore throat into the mix. I got together with several of my friends as well--Hilary, Jamie, Scott, Sara and Christa.

Mom drove home with me and stayed a week, and then flew home.

I'll end this ridiculously long blog by saying that besides my family, I'm going to miss most the way the humidity curled Portia's hair into beautiful ringlets. It's curly in Utah, but it's amazing in St. Louis. The humidity was awful (running in the morning was like a sweat bath) and the air was constantly pressing in on me every time I walked outside.

So long, St. Louis! So long, humidity! So long, ringlets!

Last days and first days

2011-07-26T12:42:00.000-07:00

This is Mrs. Lloyd. Bianca had to say goodbye to her fourth grade teacher on July 1. Bianca was tearful and it was amazing to me how attached she became to this teacher. I think one reason is because every week Bianca had to write Mrs. Lloyd a letter about what was going on with her life and the things that are important to her. The teacher would respond, and I feel like this really gave Bianca a personal relationship with her teacher. Sometimes Bianca would ask me not to look at the letter after she printed it off. I tried to not let it hurt my feelings. Sometimes she wanted things to herself and I had to respect that. On the last week, Mrs. Lloyd bound all Bianca's letters together into a book and let her take them home to keep as a journal. On the last day of school, Bianca wrote Mrs. Lloyd one last letter to tell her how much she would miss her (that she didn't have to give back). Bianca told me I could read this one and it seriously brought me to tears. It reminded me of a quote I had put aside after reading Snow Flower and the Secret Fan: "The classics tell us that, in relationships, the one between teacher and student comes second only to the one between parent and child."

Bianca also came home on the last day of school saying she had won the gold award. She'd been talking about this award for weeks now about how much she wanted it. Well, she got it. I didn't know if this was a big deal or not. But I guess only one other student in the class got a gold award. It was called the President's Education Award and is signed by Mr. Barack Obama himself (okay, yeah, I know it's most certainly stamped but still, maybe this gold award was more important than I realized). What a productive year Bianca has had. I'm so proud of her!

Today, on July 26, was Bianca's first day of fifth grade. Her new teacher is Mrs. Jensen. I hope this year will be as wonderful as the last one. Time will tell.

Fourth Grade Statehood Program

2011-06-29T08:26:00.000-07:00

Last Friday was the fourth grade program for Bianca's school (Riverton Elementary). I was really impressed this year. They told the history of the state of Utah, sang a ton of songs that went with it, and even did some square dancing (haha--this is totally a rite of passage; I remember doing it in grade school and it was funny to see Bianca promenading with the boys, holding their hands).

Bianca really wanted to dress up as a pioneer. She had been Laura Ingalls from Little House on the Prairie for Halloween a couple years ago so it was nice we could just pull out the costume that grandma Watters had made for her and it still fit (mostly). Here she is saying her part in the program.

My children's teachers

2011-06-15T11:20:00.000-07:00

I have high expectations for my children's teachers: I expect them to love my children. And I've been pretty lucky. Bianca's in fourth grade, and there's only been one year that I felt that her teacher(s) didn't really love her and that was by far her most difficult year (my guess is our kids can tell if their teachers love them or not). Fourth grade is dwindling down to the last two weeks for the year, and Bianca is already worried about losing Mrs. Lloyd.

Portia has a cute pre-school teacher who I can tell adores her (really, I'm pretty sure she loves all the kids) but I know she loves Portia because most days when I go to pick her up, the teacher rattles off something funny or cute that Portia did that day. One of my favorites was the day Miss Melissa gave Portia grapefruit for the first time. Portia tried it and said to Miss Melissa, "It's kind of gross." To which Miss Melissa responded, "Well, I really like it." Portia then said, "You like the gross?" I still smile when I tell this story to somebody and it's since become a joke at our house that sometimes one of us will "like the gross."

In June, preschool was optional. I opted for it since Bianca's in school until July 1 with her year-round schedule. We also signed Portia up for the "paper art" class that takes place after preschool so Portia gets to take a sack lunch. Portia LOVES this because it makes her feel big like Bianca. Here is a picture of Portia feeling big, holding her lunch box, and wearing her grapefruit dress, in honor of "the gross."

Bianca's Piano Recital 2011

2011-06-14T08:34:00.000-07:00

Bianca's piano recital was Sunday. She'd been working hard and practicing (we even took files of each song she was playing [and put them on her MP3 player] and her sheet music, and she had to "pretend" she was playing while we were on our vacation). She'd been working on eight pieces--Bourree by Telemann, Turkish March by Mozart, La'dieu by Burgmuller, Dr. Gradus an Parnussum from the Children's Corner by Debussy, Maple Leaf Rag by Joplin, Rhapsody in Blue by Gershwin, Rhapsody by Jon George that was a duet with her teacher, and an original composition called Moonlit Night.

They turned out great. I'm always so proud of her when she performs. Eric's Aunt Joan and cousin Sean and his wife Rachel and baby Charlie came too. I'm glad they were able to come and make Bianca feel loved as our "cheering section" usually is bare since neither of our immediate family lives in Utah.

Rock Step Run 2011

2011-06-13T07:24:00.000-07:00

I love that Bianca motivates me to start running in the spring. Each year, she wants to get started training for the Rock Step Run in Herriman. She said she doesn't want to move up to the 5K from the 1 mile until she gets first place (the last two years, she's gotten 2nd, even though she's improved her time each year).

Saturday was the big day. I am always so worried that Bianca won't know where to turn back for the mile and get stuck running the 5K or 10K. I just wait to see her turn the corner. This year, she and a friend of hers were right there. They were both running so hard. When it's a friend (and her mom is my good friend), I feel bad wanting my daughter to win.

She was able to stay ahead at the end. She improved her time 23 seconds from last year and finished her mile in 8 minutes and 20 seconds.

Bianca ended up not only with 1st place in the 1-11 category, but also the overall women category. She finally got her 1st place. Now we can move on and start training for the 5K.
I even invested in Bianca's "running" and bought her a pair of Asics for her 5K training after the race on Saturday. This morning, we woke up at 6 am and ran two miles. This girl is a hard worker. She doesn't complain. I know she'll be ready for the 5K we're planning to run in July in St. Louis.

Our Trip to England PART EIGHT (Goodbye London)

2011-06-09T07:58:00.000-07:00

We spent our last day here in London. In the morning, Portia and Bianca were watching cartoons. Their favorite was called Billy and was a British Charlie Brown (who was much less depressed than our Charlie Brown). During every commercial break, there was Lelli Kelly advertising their sparkly gem-clad shoes with make-up cell phone gift. So, Portia really wanted a pair of Lelli Kelly's. We spent our morning in London shopping at Piccadilly Circus, searching for Lelli Kelly's. I swear we walked for two hours looking for a pair and no one sold them. What's the point of all that advertising if I can't even find a pair. Eric was definitely in on the hunt and I tried not to mention too much that last year I had bought Portia a pair of Lelli Kelly's from Nordstrom's Rack but Eric made me return them because they were "hideous." Whatever--I guess Portia has him wrapped around her little finger after all.

The best part of the shopping was the book store, called WaterStones, where we lounged for an hour, looking a books (I love that all the covers in the UK are different from ours). We all bought some books. My pick was a UK edition of The Sky is Everywhere that was done so beautifully (colored plates with the poems in the book) I bought it even though I already have that book at home. [I ended up reading it on the long plane ride home the next day. I still love it!]

Long story short, we walked past Gucci, Prada, Anthropologie, Gap and could not find one store in Piccadilly Circus that sold Lelli Kelly's (and believe me, we asked). We finally gave up our efforts (I promised Portia I'd take her to Nordstrom's Rack when we got home and get her some) and jumped on a double-decker bus and then headed back to the underground and went to Buckingham Palace. This was something my mom really wanted to do. I wasn’t all that impressed. You can’t even go in. I did see the marching guards through the gate.

We ate in the late afternoon (nothing remarkable). The last thing we did for the day was visit The London Eye, the big ferris wheel where you can see most of London.

Instead of writing about the LONG plane ride home (9 hours from London to Atlanta; then another 3 to get to SLC), I'll mention the five things I wish I'd known before we went "on holiday" to England:

1. You don't have to tip at restaurants in England. The only place we needed to was in London (because they let you know you're supposed to).
2. Our plugs don't work there, so there's no reason to pack my flat iron. In fact, we spent three days searching for a plug adapter that had three prongs to recharge our laptops. I shouldn't have brought that either. Even with that one, my flat iron wouldn't work.
3. Flat sheets aren't done in England. They wash their comforters. That made me very uncomfortable at first, wondering if they did in fact wash the comforter.
4. I wish we'd looked at some British street signs before we started driving.
5. I wish we'd learned what the word "queue" meant before we left. That word still leaves me a little baffled.

I'll leave on the side-note that when I returned to Salt Lake City, Portia still wouldn't stop talking about Lelli Kelly's so I took her to Nordstrom's Rack. No Lelli Kelly's. Really, should I be surprised? Isn't that the way life works. Turned out, I ordered a pair off ebay--they're on their way from Hong Kong now. I know there's some irony there.

Our Trip to England PART SEVEN (On to London)

2011-06-06T15:52:00.000-07:00

We bid farewell to Yannon Towers early Saturday and headed up north to London. It was a 3-4 hour drive. When we arrived, we spent a good hour driving around trying to find somewhere, anywhere, to park our rental car. Sheesh! If only I'd known how ridiculously easy their public transportation is, we would not have rented the car (note to self for next time). Anyway, we finally found a place, parked our car for 16 pounds (ouch!) and then headed over to The Royal Academy of Music museum. Bianca was excited to see an original Stradiveri viola and they also had two Stradiveri violins. She had been waiting this whole vacation until we got here to pick out her one souvenir. She chose a blue and green silk scarf with violins and other musical instruments printed on it. We got on the underground and went to Westminster Abbey.

There were SO many people here (they were having a big championship soccer game—Wembley—between Manchester United and Barcelona that night, so there were a lot of singing fanatics everywhere we went. Seriously, everywhere we went there were the jolly voices of men singing for their team.) We passed Big Ben on our way. At Westminster Abbey (no pictures allowed), we saw the tomb of Queen Elizabeth and Mary Queen of Scot (an ancestor of mine) and my favorite was the poets corner, where they had plaque for so many of my favorite writers—Shakespeare, Jane Austen, Brontes, Thomas Hardy, George Eliot. It was breathtaking to be surrounded by so many great writers. I could go on. They also had Handel’s tomb there.

The hotel was a hotel. Nothing special, except for the swimming pool that the girls were ecstatic to see (and jump into) and the plumbing--the wonderful plumbing of London. Also, what's the deal with no flat sheets in England??? At first I thought it was just Yannon Towers, but no flat sheets here either. I don’t love the crowds and the queues (oh, how I wish I'd looked that word up before I left the US) in London. I know I wouldn’t have been happy had we spent the entire time in London. I’m so grateful for our time spent on the coast and realize how much I loved our simple, provincial time better.

Our Trip to England PART SIX (Teignmouth and Shalton)

2011-06-05T12:13:00.000-07:00

Friday was our last day in Teignmouth so we dedicated the whole day to staying in the area. We started the day out at the beach and took a ferry over to Shalton where we walked through “Smuggler’s Tunnel” that spit us out onto this gorgeous windless beach. We let the kids pick through rocks and sea shells. They also had a small zoo there with monkeys, lemurs, ocelots, and meerkats, so we had to go there too.

In the afternoon, we went to Twenty-Six downtown Teignmouth for “high tea”—I had the chocolate mint truffle infusion tea, an apple-walnut-blue cheese tartine, the sea food platter, and a Mississippi Mud Bar. Everything was so delicious. We spent the rest of the day letting the girls kick through the waves and pick through the sand to find more “seashell” treasures. We returned to the castle and began packing.

This was the last night we got to enjoy our “Room(s) with a View” (as the boring, character-less hotel room in London paled in comparison). Have I mentioned the views from the windows of each room at Yannon Towers yet? I don’t think so. Seriously, every room had an amazing view and we didn’t even use the tower room, which had the BEST view of the house apart from actually standing outside on the tower. Mom and I stood atop the tower one night, and I hurt my finger yanking the rusty lock from its hiding place to open the door. Unfortunately, we didn’t have the foresight to bring our camera and never got up there again. Here’s the view from my room.

And while I’m at it, here are the rooms where everyone stayed. Here are the girls in their room and my mom's pink room:

Here's the room that Bianca dubbed her music room since I did make her practice while we were there (yes, I know, I'm a Tiger Mom):

Here's Eric's and my room. When you laid down on the bed and looked up, the ceiling was a complete octagon and I loved the plaster and flower-decorated crown molding.

I can't close this blog without mentioning the plumbing. While I LOVE old houses, I do not LOVE questionable plumbing. In the bathroom on our floor, we had an amazing steam shower and a very scary toilet that burped several times everytime we flushed and usually didn't take most things away. Mom and the girls had a much more pleasant experience with their bathroom. The fireplace mantel from downstairs. The detail woodwork is incredible.

I loved staying in this little castle, that we had all to ourselves and were able to eat our own breakfast and explore and play. I did end up leaving a copy of my book in the bookshelf for future guests. We will miss Teignmouth and how wonderful every person we talked to was. Before I went to England, I wouldn't have believed that a community as a whole could be so incredibly nice.

Our Trip to England PART FIVE (Plymouth)

2011-06-04T13:39:00.000-07:00

On Thursday, we drove to Plymouth to go to the national aquarium of England. And yes, it's the Plymouth you're thinking of--the very place from where the Mayflower departed. The aquarium was a lot of fun but not a lot different from aquariums in the US. I guess a fish is a fish regardless of where you are. That's okay. My girls love going to the aquarium. Bianca and Portia both said their favorite thing at the aquarium was seeing the loggerhead sea turtle (named Snorkel) who made her appearance at the end.

Outside of the aquarium, as we were trying to cross a the bridge to get over to where the restaurants were, there was a group of people assembled. They were waiting for the bridge (which was an automatic turn-style bridge) to let a boat out. When the boat finally came through, it took my breath away. On the boat was written its name, “Our Miranda.” Maybe it was a coincidence, maybe not. It kind of felt like she was making sure we knew she was there in England with us. I choose to believe that.

We ate at a Thai Noodle bar for lunch and both the girls used chopsticks to eat (Bianca would not revert back to a fork after she started). Bianca and I had the mussaman curry. We drove back home through the moors again and saw some beautiful countryside.

Our Trip to England PART FOUR (The Moors)

2011-06-03T09:08:00.000-07:00

Ever since I read Wuthering Heights, I've wanted to visit the moors that Heathcliff walked. When my mom asked me what moors were exactly, I was stumped and just mumbled what I imagined while reading Wuthering Heights--"open" "hilly" "rocky". In fact, I wasn't really sure. On Wednesday, we decided to take a drive through Dartmoor National Park to see the moors first-hand.

We stopped at a little village of Ashburton for some shopping and then Whitcombe for lunch at this really comfortable restaurant where the girls ran and played in the backyard while we were waiting for our food. It had a running stream and blossoming trees where the blossoms were snowing and blossoms were floating on the water (thanks to my girls).

The moors were beautiful and now I have the real image--the rocks jutting up through the grass and the open, tree-less rolling hills--to go along with some of my favorite English books. Turns out, I wasn't that off after all. There are wild sheep and wild small ponies and cows (I'm pretty sure they're wild too) that graze all over the moors. We had to stop (or at least slow) several times for sheep on the roads. Although seeing it and being there makes me want to re-read Wuthering Heights.

We stopped back at Powderham Castle again to see the gardens we hadn’t had time to do the day before when they were closing, and then we took the trail to the kid’s play area and pets—including all sorts of animals like chipmunks, lots of chickens and ducks, pigs, goats, ponies and tortoises (not turtles, says Bianca). They had a cute castle fort and a zip line that Bianca wouldn't stop playing on. Even Portia loved the zip line. We stayed there for quite some time and just let the kids play.

Our Trip to England PART THREE (Shopping in Exeter)

2011-06-02T08:09:00.000-07:00

It’s no secret that I have a weakness for European designer children's clothing. I’d been dreaming of shopping in Europe and going into boutique after boutique filled with the European brands I love to buy for the girls—Jottum, No Added Sugar, Mim Pi, Oilily, Beetlejuice, Tickittyboo, and Cakewalk.

So, on Tuesday, we drove to Exeter to do some shopping. We found a little mini-mall with shops and stopped at “Next” first. I bought several dresses for the girls (although I’d never heard of this brand). Then we went to T.K. Maxx (which is the British version of T. J. Maxx although why they needed to change the name to K is beyond me). It was so awesome because the clothes were all the children’s European brands that I buy online. So I got the girls a couple more outfits each.

Afterward, we walked around several cathedrals and had a really good lunch at The Ship Inn. Then we walked to a bookshop called Bookcycle that we had driven past earlier. We couldn’t find any prices for the books and when I asked about it, they said everything’s free. You can take up to three books a day and they hope you’ll give a donation for the books for the charities they support to ensure people have books all over the world. (I realized after I returned home that there’s a bookshop in this very town that’s carrying my book and they’re asking a whopping $34. It would have been so cool to walk into a bookstore in England and see my book on the shelf.)

Next door to Bookcycle, there was a “designer children’s clothes” boutique (really the only children's boutique I found). I walked in ready to see all those name-brand clothes I had been expecting and was so disappointed when everything was Ralph Lauren, DKNY, Roxy and other stuff I can get at home. How ironic is it that our high-priced boutiques carry European clothing and theirs carry US brands?

On our way home, we stopped at Powderham Castle for a tour. It had two libraries and a music room, which Bianca was pleased to see. There was also a little strange story about the skeletons of a mom and baby found beneath one of the staircases when they were excavating years later--my guess is one of the important men got a servant girl pregnant and thought it'd be easier to off her than face the music. It’s known to be haunted (supposedly a medium came in and said they felt the presence of a mother and small baby). I asked Eric, Bianca, and mom if they felt a "presence". They didn't. Portia felt she had "presents" coming her way in the future. Cool castle.

Our Trip to England PART TWO (Teignmouth Beach and Paignton Zoo)

2011-06-01T11:05:00.000-07:00

We decided to go to church on Sunday. It was just one town over, about a 10-minute drive. Everyone was so nice and wanted to talk to us about our “holiday” plans. We really felt loved, and Portia thought it was cool they were singing the same primary songs she does back home.

In the afternoon, we walked down to the beach and took a walk along the coast. Then let the kids play at a cute park we found. We were starving and all the shops seemed to close around five o'clock (vacationers heading back north, I suppose, for Monday). We had planned to eat dinner in town, but nothing was open. We walked by an Indian restaurant, but when we went by, the sign said closed. We looked a little father and then turned back around. As we were walking back by the Indian restaurant, there was a group of guys inside and I mouthed, “I’m hungry” and kept walking. When Bianca, who was several paces behind me, walked by, the OPEN sign was showing. I was so glad they would feed us and thought they opened the restaurant just for us. It wasn’t until midway through the meal that I noticed they were scheduled to open at 5:30 and just opened a little early for us. Still, the food was so good!

On Monday, we took the train to Paignton to go to the zoo, per the recommendation of a woman we met at church. It was a little rainy but there were a lot of different types of animals and most of them were out because it was a nice cool day. And they had a ton of parks, even a nice, big in-door park where we rested away from the rain. I felt like we walked five miles that day.

Our Trip to England PART ONE (Arriving in London and Teignmouth)

2011-05-31T12:45:00.000-07:00

I'd never flown internationally before. We flew to Atlanta and met my mom there, then we all got on a nine-hour flight to London. I was impressed with the amount of food we were served--so many snack/drink services; a dinner of pasta, salad, bread & butter, and brownie; and even breakfast the next morning (but was it really breakfast or a midnight snack?? It was 3 am our time/10 am England time). I watched a movie on the plane, Rabbit Hole, which I cried through from 1 to 3 am when I couldn’t sleep any longer because it was so uncomfortable to still be sitting and Portia was sprawled on top of me while she did sleep.

We rented a Ford wagon (lots of Fords there really) and had quite a fun time watching Eric drive from the right side of the car on the left-side of the road. It was even harder driving a stick-shift with the left hand (I'll try not to mention the stalls). I refused to drive. Too scary. It was about a three-hour drive to the coast, and we stopped along the way to see Stonehenge and for a late lunch at Gisson’s.

We arrived at Yannon Towers in Teignmouth. Portia and Bianca chose a double room on the third floor and Mom chose the room next to theirs, with one of the best views in the house. Eric and I picked an octagonal room on the second floor. We all fell asleep in the family room after we unpacked down in the family room (the time-change and loss of a night was so difficult on us). The woodwork in the castle was beautiful (look below at the ceiling of the family room!).

Is there such a thing as too imaginative?

2011-05-09T12:11:00.000-07:00

Portia thinks she's a dog. A chihuahua normally. But somedays she's a lion or a mouse or a duckling or a turtle. I don't try to stop her "imaginative" play, but this phase sure has been going on a long, long, long time.

Unfortunately, as we've been helping our real chihuahua Tigger learn how to use the backyard as his bathroom, Portia appears to have become confused. The first time I noticed a problem was several weeks ago when Portia and Tigger were playing out in the backyard. I looked out the window and there was Portia, completely naked and squatting, peeing on the grass. Well, maybe she's showing Tigger how. I thought it was a little funny until I witnessed several other times. Then we sat down and had a talk. Friday night, as the babysitter was walking out the front door, she explained she found Portia peeing on the tree in our front yard. I've heard of people having problems with little boys peeing outside, but not normally little girls.

Yesterday, on Mother's Day, was the worst of all. I walked into Portia's room where she'd been playing with the door shut, so quietly and nicely. I thought it was a special "Mother's Day" gift. I walked in to get her ready to leave and she tried to shut the door on me. "Don't come in," she said. Then I walked in and found her naked and a fresh puddle of urine on the clean "pee" pad we still keep in Portia's room, in case Tigger gets out. But Tigger was caged up in his kennel sleeping at this particular moment. And I hung my head in shame. How could it have come this far?

We threatened this time. If that happens again, you'll lose everything chihuahua you own--both Beverly Hills Chihuahua movies (her favorites), all her stuffed chihuahuas, her chihuahua pajamas. Whatever it takes.

This morning, Portia was a cat. I immediately went to the computer and pulled up some youtube videos on cats using toilets, real toilets, and showed them to her. I'd hate to be the one trying to rescue Portia from the litter box downstairs or washing off her litter-caked feet.

Mad Hatter's Tea Party

2011-04-29T17:39:00.000-07:00

I love the parties they have at Portia's pre-school, Kinderprep Academy. This time, right before Easter, they had a Mad Hatter's Tea Party. Here are some of the delicious treats. I love that Miss Melissa set up the food as eat-me, drink-me, take-one, just like it is in the book Alice In Wonderland. They had another five-course meal, although as usual Portia loved the chocolate-covered strawberry best. In fact, she returned home with the juice on her dress.

Portia was escorted to her seat by a gentleman again. This time it was Zander, who Portia tells me is her boyfriend. I'm not quite certain he knows about that yet. He is a cutie, though. So is she.

Here is a class portrait. Most of Portia's preschool friends from this year will be in her class again next year.

They sang songs and recited their poetry. And the photographer spent time with each of them.

Here are Portia and Miss Melissa.

What's worth keeping?

2011-04-27T08:52:00.000-07:00

"Publisher's Weekly destroyed me," I told my husband Eric when he got into the car with Bianca and me as we were leaving to see the symphony last night. I chose my words carefully, for all the various meanings it could possibly have. Before I left, I read the review over quickly, and I can't ever go back. Never. There was not one constructive thing; not one thing that I could fix to make it better; it pretty much said the entire novel was fit for the garbage--a terrible plot line and unappealing characters. No use editing. It's amazing how a project I worked on for two years can be whittled down to nothing in a matter of seconds. So much so that I don't know if I could ever send it out. Someone said something on one of the ABNA boards about some of the critics being "baby killers" because our novels are our babies, we've spent so much time making them and loving them and fixing them up. I see exactly what they mean now. This makes me feel like a failure and makes me seriously wonder why I've been wasting my time. Should I even keep this awful manuscript around or do I trash it, just like PW did today. But I stayed strong all day and wouldn't let myself cry. I kept telling myself I would be strong.

I couldn't eat dinner last night. So I sat down to the symphony with an aching tummy, hoping for a relaxing night and a reprieve from the sad feeling that sat like bricks in my stomach. It was a night of popular classic songs that kids from the local Youth Guild were able to vote on. A local celebrity, Big Budah from Fox 13 News, was hosting and introducing the songs that had been chosen. At the beginning of the night, he asked the crowd, "Who here voted?" My little Bianca rose her hand. She was the only person in the entire crowd who had voted for the songs online about a month ago. Big Budah thought this was funny and kept referring to the pieces played, the performance "put together by the conductor and Bianca." At intermission, one of the women in charge came over to Bianca and asked her if she'd want to go up on stage with Big Budah. She excitedly followed the woman backstage. When Eric and I took our seats again, Bianca went on stage with Big Budah and did a whole ad-lib act where they were playing back and forth and joking. They had a really cute rapport, and he brought her out between every song for the rest of the performance to do skits and introduce the songs. Bianca was amazing, calm, and absolutely adorable. I sat there as Pachelbel's Canon in D was playing and a couple tears came. A teeny bit because I was thinking of that horrible review, but mostly because I was watching my daughter--my project of nine years--up on that stage, successful.

After we picked her up at the end of the night, so many people stopped us on our way out of Abravenal Hall to tell Bianca what a good job she did and some looked to me and said, "And you must be amazing parents!" And I couldn't stop smiling because I felt like it was a little gift I'd gotten to help me get through a heart-wrenching day.

On our drive home, Bianca was telling us all the things she'd talked about with Big Budah. One thing he'd said to her is that he wanted to keep her. And I know how he feels. She is an amazing little girl that I'm so proud of. I don't know if I can take all the credit for her, but she makes me happy every day and her successes are my successes. And even if I never make it as a writer (which looks pretty probable from where I'm sitting now), I have a supportive husband and Portia and Bianca (my real babies) and I get to keep them.

Easter and a Birthday

2011-04-25T17:12:00.000-07:00

I feel sorry for people who have birthdays on holidays. Actually, I feel worse for their parents. This weekend, Portia’s birthday fell on the Saturday right before Easter. There was a lot to do!

I decided with Portia that I’d wait to have a birthday party with friends until she turns five. So, this year, when she turned four, it was just going to be us. We went to a movie—African Cats—and then Portia got to pick where we ate—Fuddrucker’s because they have balloons. But they also have cheeseburgers and French fries and the cheese dipping sauce.

Then we went home for cupcakes and presents.

Easter was the next day. The weather wasn't great, which is surprising considering how late Easter was this year. We had to rush home from church to do Easter eggs before it started to rain again. We thought we were on our own this year but at the last minute, Eric's cousin's wife's parents (Dale and Rosalie) invited us to their house for dinner. It's so wonderful that they included us in their gathering. They had a barbecue and, fortunately, on the east side of town, it didn't rain quite so much. As much fun as it was, I was relieved when this weekend ended.

Orchestra and boys?!?

2011-04-23T06:09:00.000-07:00

I'm not a good influence on Bianca. I was a little boy-crazy as a kid. There was that time in first grade that I tackled a third-grade boy at recess and kissed him on the cheek. He told his teacher and I got into trouble. No worries--I got to dump that same boy in high school.

So on Tuesday, Bianca was invited to "guest conduct" for one of the other school orchestras in West Jordan. She was thrilled. They wanted her to play viola with their orchestra and then come conduct her song they were playing. Bianca did great. As we were leaving the concert, one of the girls from the orchestra leaned over and said to Bianca, "A boy in our orchestra likes you."

Bianca nodded bashfully and kept walking. I leaned over and whispered, "Go ask her who it is. Is he cute?" She refused. Yes, I know, it wasn't one of my finest parenting moments. But I can't help it; that time in my life was a lot of fun and I can only live it through her now. I'd hate for her to miss out on anything. But she's a much different girl than I was. She's shocked when I tell her that I kissed a boy in fourth grade. Bianca seems so far away from that, which is a good thing. Although I happen to know that there is a boy in her class she likes. I'm sworn to secrecy though.

On another "boy" note, last week after her school orchestra concert, two of the boys in Bianca's class told her they didn't believe she wrote that song the orchestra played. "It was too good," one had said. I told Bianca to just take it as a compliment and move on, but instead, she lugged her composition binder (with her 70-plus compositions in it) into her backpack to take to school to show them all the songs she's written. She said that shut them up.

Stars Shining

2011-04-17T13:24:00.000-07:00

I used to sing Portia a lullaby every night before bed. It was part of her bed-time routine while she was still in a crib. When she graduated to a big girl bed, she didn't seem to want her lullaby anymore. It wasn't until very recently that she started asking for one again. Now she's much too big to rock, so I lay next to her on her bed and sing it into her ear. I think it's her way of putting off bedtime for just a little bit longer, but I'm glad she needs me again. I have a couple of songs I rotate--Lullaby and Goodnight by Brahms and Dream a Little Dream by the Mamas and the Papas, which she calls "Stars Shining".

Portia discovered Jillyboo (our cat) asleep and thought she needed a lullaby. I particularly love the way she does "her opera" while she sings.

My little conductor

2011-04-15T11:49:00.000-07:00

Bianca says she wants to go to Juilliard. I love that she has a dream. Just in case that dream never fizzles, I try to keep track of her musical accomplishments. It's never too early to start on your resume, right? And she had better get some type of scholarship; I know what Juilliard costs.

I keep track of the time she spends volunteering at the Utah Symphony's Youth Guild, checking coats for performances and helping out with the instrument petting zoos (although she doesn't think this is work). I keep track of contests she wins. Last night, at the monster concert, she won the composition contest that the district held and she got up in front of twelve different elementary schools' orchestras, all playing in the concert together, and conducted them while they played her song. It was quite simply amazing. She had to stand up on a chair because she was so small no one could see her. But she loves it and just eats it up. I love it too. I couldn't have been more proud. I'm still baffled as to where her musical creativity comes from. But I'm glad she got it and glad we figured it out and even better, I'm glad she uses it. When she gets into Juilliard, she's not sure yet if she'll study viola performance, piano performance, composition, or even conducting--or any number of combinations. We'll have to wait and see.

Rosalind's Piano Debut

2011-03-29T04:49:00.000-07:00

Bianca has been preparing a song on the piano, Rhapsody in Blue, for a couple of months now. Getting the rhythms just right, memorizing all the accidentals and difficult chords. She's gone over and over it each morning as she dutifully practices her piano. She loves the song, loves its jazzy rhythm and cool meandering gait. She auditioned several weeks ago and made it into Herriman's talent show line-up.

Last week, as Bianca's piano teacher was preparing her mentally for her performance, they did a character sketch on a sheet of lined paper. The character's name was Rosalind Nimico. She has red curly hair and a doesn't-care attitude. She's brazen and brave. It's a mechanism for letting Bianca believe she's not Bianca, but Rosalind. Someone else completely is on the line, no consequences for Bianca if she messes up.

At the dress rehearsal last Friday night, Bianca got up to the stage and in the middle of the song, she froze. She lost her place in the song and her fingers wouldn't do that work they'd labored so hard to do. She stumbled along until she finally found a path and then finished the song. Over the next 24 hours, I was in fix-it mode. I was thinking total Tiger-Mom and decided she'd play the song 10-15 times the next day until it was right there in her mind, easy to catch and hold on.

On Saturday night, Bianca went up on the stage--brazen and brave--and she performed. And wow did she perform, her body swaying and her head and hands feeling the piece like it was second nature.

After the performance, I asked her about her movements while she played. She looked at me and said, "I don't know, mom. That was Rosalind. She gets really into her music."

One second. . .

2011-03-29T04:31:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I went to the bank. A sensible thing to do on my way to pick Bianca up from school after I filled the car with gas. I pulled my car to the side of the building, placed my stack of checks ready to deposit from selling my book to friends in the neighborhood under the little silver bar, and then let go. In that one second between letting go of my checks and the teller pulling in the drawer, the wind took hold and lifted. In that one second, I grasped for papers like flying birds and pulled down some, but two paper birds escaped into the wind. One a deposit slip, the other a signed check. A friend's check. I couldn't grasp at the moment that I shouted to the teller that my check was already in the street that my friend's bank account number was circling and soaring through the air--ready for anyone to grab and use. I didn't understand how my clumsy hands would torment my mind as I thought of compromising the bank account of a friend who took a chance on me and my book. Sure, it was only $11. The money means nothing, except that every single penny is worthwhile to me when it comes to making sense of the money I spent on publishing this book, and it makes me sick every second I think of who might be lurking, waiting to find a check and do the worst they can with it.

I sat in my car with my head buried in my hands and cried, even as the guy in his suit and tie leapt out in the street trying to find the check that was, by then, at least to Provo with the strength of the wind. And in that moment, the culmination of a really crappy day just hit me. A ton of bricks at my head. From this morning when I plucked my Portia from her gymnastics class after being somewhat callously tossed aside by the instructor when she bumped her head and was left alone crying on a mat. And the scene I made, hands and voice shaking as I told the instructor I was pulling my daughter from the class immediately. From feeling excluded recently. From second-guessing myself, feeling that maybe it hadn't been "brave" to publish my raw book as someone in church had mentioned in passing, but rather foolish because now I felt a vulnerable mess to everyone I saw. I was a vulnerable mess as I left the bank, went splotchy-faced to my daughter's school and picked her up. I felt a vulnerable mess as Bianca and I crept around the Wal-Mart parking lot searching every scrap of paper stuck between bushes and against street curbs, hoping that maybe we'd find our paper birds taking a rest from flight, our needles in a haystack.

As we returned home, dejected, I imagine hopefully (and probably a little foolishly) a real bird circling around and snatching the paper from the sky or stuck inbetween some leaves of a tree and gobbling the numbers up. I imagine a person finds the check and rips it up because kind people still exist in the world. I went home and fell into my bed and cried under my covers until it was dinner time. In sleeplessness 5 am the next morning, I feel dread calling my friend and telling her what happened. I spend hours reliving that one second when my fingers are able to grasp that check and my small (but enormous to me) fate changes. If only I could have that one second back.

It’s all in the Details. . . Or is it?

2011-03-24T10:27:00.000-07:00

I’m a detail girl. I worked as a proofreader for a while after graduating from college. I delight in finding overlooked errors when I’m reading a book or magazine (not so much satisfaction reading take-out Chinese menus as they’re everywhere!!!) and sometimes I even go to the extent of marking it. It’s one of my strengths: attention to detail.

Or so I thought. And then my sister called me last weekend and showed me about ten errors in the printing of The Pulse of Hopeful Life (one of which is large but it makes me sick to think about so I won’t mention what it is as I’m hoping you didn’t notice). I couldn’t sleep for two nights. I called to try to have the text changed in the book but I’d have to pay for it. And I don’t want to pay anymore. My break-even point for publishing the book keeps climbing (and the profit point on amazon, where I sell most of my books, is lowest). I had read the book straight through right before I approved it, but I guess I miss things. I can’t believe it, but I did.

A couple weeks ago, I let Bianca enter her very first composition competition (that wasn’t Reflections). The contest had a children’s category, and Bianca worked so hard on her song. She had it sounding great, then she had to go back through and add dynamics (crescendos, louds and softs, retakes, etc.). She did it all, and then we printed her song out, binded it, and sent it off. The other night, she asked me to play it with her and there was a glaring long, wrong note that she must have changed by mistake. She started crying. All her work ruined and for one tiny mistake!

I’d been worrying about the little mistakes in the entry I sent off to Amazon’s Breakthrough Novel Award contest too because the formatting got shifted for the excerpt phase and pushed words together (deleting the spaces for some unknown reason). I went through it and tried to fix them but knew I couldn’t have gotten them all.

I’ve turned into a worrier lately, and it’s these little details that seem to bother me the most. Does it ruin everything if there’s an error? How much is dependent on perfection? Is the merit still there if not perfect?

Well, Bianca decided to try her luck, and she emailed the contact at the Pike’s peak Young Composer’s contest and told him her dilemma. Yesterday, he returned her email and said three little words: “It is fixed.”

How simple it can be sometimes! How much sleep we lose! I know I should probably just pay the money to have them fix the mistakes in my book. Then I can feel the beauty of those three words: It is fixed. And sleep a little better.

As it turns out, there was a glitch in the system at the Breakthrough Novel contest, and I was not the only person suffering from that. The reviewers knew it was a glitch, thankfully, and my excerpt made the cut to the next round of the contest (down from 5000 entries to 250 now). Thankfully, thankfully people most of the time can see past the mistakes to the real beauty. I know the rest of my manuscript isn’t perfect (a reviewer from Publisher's Weekly will read the story in its entirety). I’m tempted to go back and re-read it but I know it will just drive me crazy when I see a mistake or typo or repeated word. Hopefully the reviewer will be able to see past that too. Onto April 26 when I find out if I make the cut for the next round (down to 50 entries). I can feel more sleepless nights in my future!

It's been a long road. . .

2011-03-01T07:46:00.000-08:00

I started writing The Pulse of Hopeful Life (formerly known as "Forever Blue" and "Dandelion Bouquets") nearly six years ago. I wrote just for me, though, as an alternative to paying for expensive therapy sessions after Miranda died. I'd read once that writing in story format can be more healing or therapeutic than just writing down exactly what happened. So that's what I did. I created this woman, Andria, who experienced the horrific thing in my life that I couldn't seem to see past and I let her do all the things I knew rationally I couldn't do but deep down was afraid I might. It was easier to distance my emotions and my feelings when they became Andria's irrational feelings and not mine. Turns out, it also helped me to have something to focus on.

I still grieved and writing the novel was very difficult for me--especially the details surrounding the accident (the one event in the novel that did happen to me). But I did it, and it turned into a novel. The manuscript went through several writing groups and lots and lots of edits, through several agents, one very promising one, and then nothing. So I had a decision: I could either put it away, or I could take matters into my own hands.

Now it's out. It feels weird (and wonderful) to think there may be people reading my novel at any given moment and not know who they are or where they are. I feel exhilarated and petrified all at the same time. I'm trying to keep my expectations low--after all, it was either this or leaving it in a dark drawer in my desk (okay really, in a dark computer file somewhere on my laptop). I'll be shocked if I even break even on the money I put into it. I don't need to hit it big (although I wouldn't turn that down either) but really, if it makes a difference in one person's life then it's worth it, right? Maybe it can help someone else down the line who has to suffer the sort of grief I had to or maybe help other people understand others who are suffering.

I don't know how motivated I'll be to market the book (I was a business minor in college but it's a lot different when you're self-promoting your own book, just because there are emotions involved). This is the hard part for me. Maybe the library, local book stores?!? We'll see. But for now, it's on amazon.com and it's on goodreads.com and until the books I ordered arrive, there's not a lot I can do but sit back and watch things unfold.

So, here it is on amazon:

http://www.amazon.com/Pulse-Hopeful-Life-Jeana-Watters/dp/145637754X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1298995935&sr=1-1

And if you do get around to reading it, I'd love it if you'd leave a review on amazon or goodreads:

http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/10594011-the-pulse-of-hopeful-life

You never know what will happen, right? After all, I heard yesterday that Michael Crichton self-published his first novel.

I take my victories when I can

2011-02-24T12:09:00.000-08:00

I'm so excited! I entered last month for Amazon's Breakthrough Novel contest. With the help of my good friend Christie--a wordsmith, I moved on to the next round. This is the pitch they liked:

A modern retelling of Shakespeare's As You Like It, Isle of Arden is the story of a colorful group of characters who each shed their past in order to discover themselves on an island where “all the world's a stage and all the men and women merely players.”

On the brink of adulthood cousins Celia and Roz journey to the tropical Isle of Arden in the Florida Keys. With their quirky neighbor Stoner along for the ride, this summer promises to be the adventure of their young lives. The three quickly learn however “how full of briars is this working day world!”

Celia and Roz become estranged as a result of a long-time feud between their fathers that erupts after Roz falls in love with Landon, the son of a man involved in the embittered argument from years before. Celia secretly takes refuge in the arms of the one person who seeks to harm Landon, his own drug-riddled brother Oliver who eventually makes an attempt on Landon’s life. In the meantime, Stoner has fallen for Audrey, a neighbor and unlikely ingénue.

Things peak for our heroine when in the midst of a near hurricane, the truth of Celia’s betrayal to Roz surfaces, along with a trick of Roz’s own doing that causes Landon to flee angrily into the storm. As the storm heightens, so does their disagreement. Stoner discovers Audrey is missing and searches for her through the flooded island. Will love conquer even when the façades are shed?

Full of the whimsy of Shakespeare with the current of our times, Isle of Arden unfolds a classic tale of unexpected love and family reconciliations, leading to a signature Shakespearean comedic ending that would leave even the Bard himself sad to see it end.

So that's it. I'm going to revel in this victory at least until March 22, when they announce who goes on to the next round after reading my excerpt. Did I mention the winner of this contest gets published with Penguin?

The Viola Recital

2011-02-13T12:28:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was Bianca's viola recital. I'm so relieved I don't have to hear these songs anymore as she'd been practicing them for quite some time. As had I--because I was playing the accompaniment. I'd been very nervous about it, hoping that I wouldn't break rhythm and screw her up. See, it's different when you're playing a piano solo because your mess-up belongs to you. But when you're playing for someone else, your screw-up can screw them up too. I'd considered medicating myself but was told on many fronts it's just not worth it. I'm still not sure about that, but I plowed through and felt a little better when the viola teacher (who was accompanying the other kids) messed up too. Bianca performed two pieces. I was really excited about her vibrato here (it's the first time she's performed using vibrato and I think she did really well). Her first song was Bach's "Air on the G String" (which was the song that had worried me).

I messed up a couple times. If you weren't sure where, just look at my face when I'm playing. I always give myself away. Bianca does it too when she plays a wrong note.

Her second piece was one that she composed herself called "Moonlight." The piano part was MUCH easier!

After the recital, we stopped by a little dessert shop called "The Chocolate" for goodies. It's in this old house that's decorated really cute, where we relaxed on couches and enjoyed our treats. I went as far as asking for a family picture since we were all sort of dressed up, but I guess that was asking too much. Bianca must have been more nervous or spent than I realized because she was completely ornery and refused to give me a good picture. I told her later (after I was really upset) that I was just trying to celebrate her accomplishment and why wouldn't she let me?!?

Here's what I ended up with. First, Bianca couldn't stop reading her book:

Next, I had taken her book away so she gave her most obnoxious not-pretty look:

I was hoping this one from earlier at the recital hall might work but why is Eric bending over like that? I guess I can't blame this on Bianca:

It's okay. Sometimes I just need to relax and get over the fact that pictures aren't always perfect, just like performances. The sooner I can accept that, the better.

Science Fair

2011-02-04T06:54:00.000-08:00

The science fair wasn't so bad this time around. I made a decision this year: Bianca was on her own. She needed to come up with her own idea and do all the work herself. Not me.

So back when we were in Jackson Hole, we were all sitting down after a full day of skiing and snowboarding to watch a television show (probably Psych). We all had glasses (of the same size) of water (of varying amounts) we were drinking. That's when Bianca hit the glasses with a spoon and realized she could create music with them. This was the inspiration for Bianca's science fair project this year.

Besides a little help with the graph from Eric and a little help positioning the papers on the board from me, Bianca did this year's project on her own. She still didn't win. But when it doesn't take quite so long (or so much work), the disappointment isn't as bitter.

Bianca's new room

2011-01-23T15:55:00.001-08:00

So, it's not actually a new room, but with her new wall color, it seems like a whole new room. I'd bought the new bedding that wasn't babyish (that I hope will last her ten years) about six months ago. Then I told Bianca what she needed to do to get her "new" room, which was keep it picked up and make her bed in the morning. It was great for a while, then she forgot, then I reminded her, she didn't care, then she started to care again, then she finally started making her bed again and keeping her room tidy. Just in time, because I love doing projects in January so that I don't get depressed with all the gray muck in the sky and the cold days. We chose a nice blue color, called "Surfer" at the paint store, that went along with the color scheme. We spent Saturday painting, then we reorganized and alphabetized all Bianca's books and pulled out the new bedding. I think the room seems brand new.

Eventually, I'm going to get Bianca a chair for this little reading nook we made, with a chandelier and beanbag chair. But for now, this works great. Bianca loves it. She better. I'm really not good at painting and don't want to do this again. This should work until Bianca moves out for college.

Teaching an old dog new tricks

2011-01-17T15:06:00.000-08:00

I just couldn't do it. I felt too much guilt. I sat around the house wondering where my little companion was (where the cat was through all this I have no idea as she seems to disappear throughout the day). Bianca wouldn't talk to me. Eric admitted (and I quote) that he "loved that stupid dog." Then I got an email from my mom that said (in a few more words than this)--"How could you? I would have taken him." Eric called the Humane Society, told them we hadn't completely agreed, and asked if there was any chance we could get our dog back. They said to come pick him up.

So on Saturday, Eric and the girls went to get him and when Tigger saw Eric, he wriggled himself out of the arms of the Humane Society worker and into Eric's arms. It makes me laugh, really, to see Eric care so much about this 6-pound chihuahua.

And I know, the problem isn't over--BUT we have a plan. Since Saturday, it's working. We keep Tigger in his kennel and take him outside (outside, not on pads inside the house as he was trained to do for seven years) to go do his thing. Then we give him a treat if he goes and then put him back in the kennel. He gets to sleep in Bianca's room at night as usual. He seems like a changed dog. Not an accident in the house yet. Maybe the Humane Society stay scared the crap out of him and he realized what he had (are dogs capable of this type of cognitive function?). I like to believe he's finally warm and comfortable again and he's going to be the dog he should be. So far, so good. And now I have a safety net: If it doesn't work out, I can ship him off to grandma's.

Goodbye Tigger

2011-01-13T12:44:00.001-08:00

I hate myself. I hate myself because I'm one of those people--you know, the kind who love my pets conditionally. I've been battling Tigger ever since the wood floors were installed a month ago over who's in charge at this house. Tigger didn't want new floors. Tigger didn't like the change. Tigger peed on all the rugs, carpet, anything he could pee on.

I sit here crying because I hate myself for taking away Bianca's best friend and leaving him in a cold, sterile place where the sound of dogs fighting permeates through slivers of doors. I hate myself for signing all the papers, paying $25 even, and then telling the guy across the counter what a good boy he is. I hate myself for sitting here crying over this stupid dog that I've never even liked, who stunk, that I would nudge away when he would settle his warm body on my lap. I hate myself for checking The Humane Society's web site to make sure they're marketing him correctly. Because I want to make sure someone adopts him and knows that he likes to chew only on The Dog toys (pups) from McDonald's Happy Meals we used to buy on ebay so that he could chew the eyes off, then the collar, then each ear, the leather nose, the stuffing, until it was a little scrap of fabric that could FINALLY be tossed into the garbage. I left a full bag of brand-new pups with him at The Humane Society and the blanket Bianca sewed him. I want him to find a new family. I want him to be happy. I guess I proved who's in charge, but I hate myself for it.

Portia's Spanish Preschool

2011-01-11T10:23:00.000-08:00

Two weeks ago, Portia's spanish preschool teacher (Maestra) told us that her full-time job was changing and she wasn't going to be able to do the preschool any longer. In fact, because of the loss of the preschool income, she was renting out her house and moving to an apartment. I'm really sad. She's a good friend of mine and Portia adores her little girl Elinor who is less than a week younger than she is. And Portia liked learning Spanish. She knew a lot of animals, all the colors, could count to ten, and could even say some conversational Spanish--not to mention all the Spanish songs she could sing. This gives me more time with Portia at home but it also gives me a little less time to myself and to spend writing. I know Portia will really miss her Spanish preschool and I'll miss hearing her singing her Spanish songs around the house--but I'm glad I had a backup preschool.

Frogs v. Toads

2011-01-05T14:32:00.000-08:00

I had a great December having Bianca out of school. Sometimes (especially during this particular break) I love having year-round school. On one snowy morning, Bianca and Portia came up with a game using a piece of cardboard they found lying around the house--probably a remnant from some Christmas packaging. Bianca spent a morning coloring and putting it all together. She used the old frogs and toads I used to collect when I was a kid and still have sitting around the girl's bathroom, which is themed a frog pond. I thought it was fun game. It's a little bit chess, checkers (the frogs and toads can hop over each other and take them out), and a little bit original--especially the boogie square, which allows for some dancing and an extra roll of the dice (that Bianca made herself). We played Frogs v. Toads a lot this break. Bianca also plays it with turtles against the frogs/toads.

Bianca's accumulating quite a collection of turtles (the apple doesn't fall too far from the tree, I suppose). I just hope she has kids that are as creative as mine and will be able to put her little-used collection to use when she's a mom.

"And give money to all street musicians. . ."

2010-12-27T19:48:00.000-08:00

This "request" was on a list in a book I was reading called "It was on Fire When I Lay Down on It" by Robert Fulghum of things you really should do (kind of like commandments but not quite). "7. And give money to all street musicians."

There's this bagpipe player who stands outside Abravanel Hall after symphony productions and plays his heart out. Eric happens to be Scottish and LOVES the bagpipe. He always throws money in this man's case. As we walked home after the symphony one night, he told me he wants bagpipes played at his funeral. "Whatever," I said. Not very reverent, but it was "duly noted" in my mind and we walked on. A couple minutes later, Eric decided to jaywalk and I can't exactly remember what happened but there was a car and a close call, and I told Eric I could head back over now and ask the guy if he did funerals.

A couple months later, as Bianca, Portia, our neighbor friend Hannah (who was staying with us that weekend), and I were leaving from the Nutcracker at the Capitol Theatre, there was a man just outside on the sidewalk. His beard was as bushy as a squirrel's tail and he looked homeless, but he was holding a cello, bowing back and forth with his frozen fingers peeking out of his gloves, playing Jingle Bells. This time it was me, digging through my purse for money. Bianca wanted to put the money in his pile. She wanted to give him more, but I only had so much to pay for parking at the garage. It made me wonder about this guy who was playing a cello on the street. The cello isn't a cheap instrument to get into. What had happened in his life that he stood there on the street and played his pretentious cello in the most humble circumstances, in 15 degree snowy nights?

Last week, I was pleasantly surprised when I saw this very same street musician named Eli highlighted in an article about Christmas. It made me smile to see his face again. Bianca and I both watched the video. I cried a little.

I don't typically give to random people asking for money, but street musicians are working for what they get. They're doing their part. I get to hear their music, so giving a buck or two here and there is just my part.

Christmas 2010

2010-12-27T13:36:00.000-08:00

I'm not sure exactly what it was that made this year seem so much better than other Christmases in the past, but I just know how I feel and this was about as good as a Christmas could get!

When I was a kid, we always went to my dad's side Christmas celebration on Christmas Eve and my mom's on Christmas Day. Well, we're lucky to have somewhere to go Christmas Day--since neither Eric nor I have immediate family in the area--and this leaves Christmas Eve to just our family. For Christmas Eve, Eric made shepherd's pie (a tradition he's carried on from his family) for dinner. After eating, we read the Christmas story out of the New Testament and acted it out as best we could--with Bianca as Mary, Portia as Joseph, a stuffed bear Leah for baby Jesus, although our goat (Tigger) and ox (Jillyboo) weren't exactly cooperative.

I liked how they used Portia's silkies in the costuming. Here's Bianca helping Portia after a wardrobe malfunction.

Bianca provided three musical numbers on her viola--What Child Is This?, The First Noel, and The Little Drummer Boy. The music was interspersed with reading a Christmas story (The Tale of the Three Trees, thanks Crystal!) and with pulling out the Thankful Box we kept all December and read aloud the things we've been thankful for this month. We laughed so hard when we read a couple of Portia's contributions (remember she's just learning how to write and knows mostly the letters in her own name) but I swear she had written something that could only be pronounced "poopoocity". The Thankful Box was an idea Eric's aunt Joan gave us on Thanksgiving, and I'm so glad we did it. I especially remember ending on "I'm thankful for a warm house" as we sat in front of the fire together. We let the girls each pick one present to open (from her grandparent's box that arrived a week before), then nestled them into their warm beds.

The next morning, we were up around 6:30 and began opening the presents. I was trying to cut down on the amount of actual toys this year and opted to get them other useful things they would love. Portia's highlights were the Boomwhacker xylophone (not as loud as you might think), new gymnastics leotard, lots and lots of art supplies and her Travel Turtle so she can color in the car. Bianca got a violin, a sea-turtle-shaped thumb piano, ice skates, and books. I like gifts that encourage my kids to continue on with their talents.

If you'd like to know what my favorite present was this year, check out the wood floors in the first two pictures. I love, love, love them!

We had a quick breakfast of cocoa and cinnamon toast while Eric was preparing the "Bread Pudding Quiche" to take to Uncle Bruce and Aunt Joanie's house. We're so grateful they include us in their family celebrations each year, and we always have a wonderful time. So wonderful we could stay all day. A lot of times we do! The brunch was delicious and we sat around talking, playing games and watching movies the rest of the day. This is what Christmas should be.

A last-minute vacation plan, a ton of fun

2010-12-13T14:17:00.000-08:00

I'm a planner. I like to do all my planning way ahead of time so I can sit back and wait, all the while having something really fun to look forward to. My sister Susannah and I booked our cruise for the first week of December at least six months ago. My mom bought her flight to come along with us and our families. Then three weeks before our trip, the very cruise ship we were scheduled to be on caught fire, stranding passengers for days without electricity or flushing toilets (but not really eating spam, that was all the media from what I heard). But the bad news was that the ship was out of commission until January, and we were out of a vacation.

That's when I started to panic. We considered Oregon (too far to drive), going to California anyway just to visit my sister (I didn't want my family to drive her crazy and her house was for sale at the time), Las Vegas???, a ski trip. . . We had a family meeting. We pretty much ruled out everything else and decided to do the ski trip. I found someone on ksl classifieds who was listing the week we needed at a 3-bedroom lodge with kitchen, and we decided to go to Jackson Hole, Wyoming.

We drove up on last Saturday right after Eric's company's Christmas party (which was watching Tangled at the movie theatre) for the 4-5 hour drive and we arrived around 9 pm. Here are my angels (I mean, snow angels) on the car ride:

I guess I wasn't expecting too much but I was so happy with the place we were staying. It was literally inside the ski resort. You walk out the front entrance and there's the ski school building; out the back and there's a tram, a gandola, and another chair lift. They even had lockers with boot dryers to keep our skiing equipment. Outside the windows, everything was sparkly and white. A wintery wonderland. Oh and the best part??? The two free lift tickets per day that came with the room. Talk about a pleasant surprise!

We took the first day to get settled in. We had a delicious lunch at Cafe Genevieve (which was supposed to be Jedediah's but was really good nonetheless--get the biscuits and gravy). On Monday, we bundled the girls up in their coats, snow pants, hats, scarves, gloves, boots and marched them right across the street to their ski school. I'd been prepping Portia for this by telling her that she was going to a "ski preschool." Bianca knew what to expect because she'd done snowboard lessons at Snowbird last year. But what we weren't expecting was so few people. I didn't realize this, but on a normal year, the resort is barely open with very little snow. However, we lucked out. The resort opened the week before with most of the mountain open. And the best part was there was maybe one or two other kids in the classes and an overabundance of instructors so my kids got private tutors each day.

With the girls taken care of, Eric and I were free to explore the mountain on our own. He skis, I snowboard, so we don't normally go together. I'm not used to riding up the lift with a skier but we figured it out. And I suppose it's not that bad with a skier; Eric's pretty fast. We went all over the mountain and would head back to the bottom to spy on our kids every so often. We'd have a nice, quiet lunch together and have until 3 when Portia needed to be picked up.

We skied every other day so as to not wear ourselves out or the kids and rested on Tuesday and Thursday. On the other days, we spent a lot of time in the "hot pool" as Portia liked to call it, took baths, and watched Christmas movies and would go out to eat. We had a great time one night at the Merry Piglets (Mexican, if you can believe that) and went on a frantic search through the village of Jackson looking for candy sticks. I'm still not sure what prompted that little wild goose chase, but the good news is that Eric found some.

We found these adorable hats at the Mangy Moose gift shop and just had to get them for the girls. They provided hours of entertainment for them too--as Portia roared at just about anyone as she wore it and Bianca and Portia played lion and mouse in the hotel on our days off.

On Friday, it snowed all morning--hard--and the afternoon was frosty but sunny and the snow was still cushy (which as a snowboarder I can appreciate). I couldn't believe when Eric and I came down the mountain and saw Portia on a true ski run with her instructor Zack. They do this cute game called red light, green light on skis but the best part was the purple light, which meant she had to boogie while she skied. So cute! She went up the chair lift five times on Friday afternoon.

Bianca was having a blast too. On the last day, she had mastered the "S" turn and could link her S turns all the way down the run. I was so happy to see how much she improved from Monday.

It was sad to pack up and go. On our drive out of Jackson, we saw a herd of elk, two moose drinking from the Snake River, a fox, and some other wildlife. I can truly say this was one of my favorite vacations ever. We just may have to do a ski trip every year now.

Next weekend, I'm going to go meet my sister and her family and my mom in Las Vegas. I guess I got two trips out of this one.

The awesome week all the hard work pays off

2010-12-02T09:39:00.001-08:00

This has been a crazy week. It's Bianca's last week before she goes off track for the rest of December. Everytime I ask Bianca about things that have been happening this week, she answers "It's awesome." Not a creative response, but telling nonetheless.

Monday was the Reflections awards ceremony. This year's theme was "Together we can. . ." Bianca worked really hard and entered in three categories. She wrote a cute story called "Piano Girl" in which a girl playing a certain song lures a little girl out from a piano. The two characters work together to find out how to send the girl back to where she needs to be. She entered this in the literature category. In musical composition (Bianca's favorite), she wrote a duet with viola and piano called "Skipping Stones." The song jumps around a lot to resemble stones skipping across the water. The third category was visual art, and Bianca drew a poster of birds singing together while flying through the sky. Bianca is moving onto district in both literature and music composition. She was really excited when the winnings included a $1 coin and a $5 gift card to B& N, which she's already used.

Tuesday was the mall project (see previous blog for more information on Bianca's Beach Band Shack) and the Story Weavers contest at school (which is a storytelling contest). She'd been working on the fairytale called "Toads and Diamonds." She and another boy were chosen to represent her class.

Wednesday was the orchestra concert. Bianca arranged a viola solo with piano called "A Minor" Christmas Puzzle (you're supposed to guess which Christmas songs she put in there) and performed it at the concert. I thought she did great.

Bianca also arranged a song called "Silent Morning" (based on Silent Night) for her friend Kalli to play on the violin. Bianca was able to accompany her. And yes, that's Portia who danced into the camera. I swear Portia thought the entire concert was a dancing recital for her.

We went to see Ballet West's Nutcracker Thursday night. Eric got free tickets somehow from his work. We're watching our cute neighbor Hannah while her mom is out of town, so she was able to come with us. The seating was open, so we were in the front row, very center seats.

On Friday, Bianca had to go in front of the entire school and tell her "Toads and Diamonds" story again. She competed against the winners of all the other classes, all the way up to the sixth grade. She got fourth place in the whole school. Not bad!

I don't know how much else can be packed into one week. We have to clear out a couple rooms in our house so that our wood floors can be put in while we're away and pack the car for Jackson Hole. We leave on Saturday.

Bianca's Beach Band Shack, an entrepreneurial enterprise

2010-11-30T11:34:00.001-08:00

For a month now, Bianca's been planning which business she's going to open for her school's mall. Everyone in the fourth grade had to come up with his or her own business plan, set up shop, and parents were invited today to come and shop!

Bianca used a bunch of mussel shells she collected two years ago on our vacation to Maine and created little musical instruments--Sea Shell String-a-lings (which she added little rubber bands to them so they you can pluck to make music) and Mussel Maracas (which she filled up with beads and superglued together). I thought it was brilliant.

She started off pretty optimistic with the prices she was asking. It didn't take long, though, for her to realize she'd have to lower her prices if Bianca's Beach Band Shack was going to be a successful enterprise (see scratched-out prices on photo below).

The parents were given free money, and I was able to shop and shop. I bought some instruments from Bianca but also bought some book marks, flower hair clips (which Bianca bought also, which is evident in the photo), rock animals, candy, a hand-crocheted scarf. Every time I turned around, teachers were giving me more money to spend. I wish shopping at Southtowne Mall were more like this.

What a fun way to teach children about starting a business!

Witches Brew

2010-11-22T07:48:00.001-08:00

Portia's preschool did a Witches Brew etiquette luncheon instead of a typical Halloween party this year. They were supposed to wear their best dresses rather than a costume. They had a five-course meal and Portia was escorted to her seat by a gentleman.

They used fine china.

Portia tried a pickle and says she liked it, although she wouldn't eat one for me at home.

They drank out of goblets.

Portia loved the chocolate-covered strawberry and she will eat those for me at home.

Here's Portia's cute preschool class.

I love my Portia!

Bianca's Trophy

2010-11-15T18:57:00.000-08:00

On Friday, Bianca came home from her chess tournament with a trophy for first place of all the fourth graders. She was so happy.

Piano Challenge #3: Serenade by Franz Schubert

2010-11-15T18:36:00.000-08:00

The next song in the piano book I'm trying to conquer is Serenade by Franz Schubert. I really like this song. About a year ago, when I went to see "Young Victoria," this is the song that was played throughout the movie because Schubert was Prince Albert's favorite composer. I loved the movie because it's a clean, sweet story of true love in marriage. I even bought the DVD for both my mom and my mother-in-law for Mother's Day last year. I enjoyed learning to play this song.

There is a part near the end where I pretty much botch a couple measures but I'm hoping if you watch that you'll lose interest by that time.

Another interesting note: A couple months ago, Bianca's piano teacher told her that she tends to lock her fingers when she's playing. I realized I have the same problem. It's pretty apparent in this video. I don't know how to undo this since I've been locking my fingers my entire life.

Fire

2010-11-02T08:21:00.000-07:00

When I was a kid returning home from a family summer vacation, I was always shocked as we rounded the curve of our street that our house was still standing there. A fire hadn't burned it down. I don't know why I felt it was miraculous that my room was still where it should be, and my things (although not put away) were where they should be.

This September, the day after we arrived in Florida for a Quigley family reunion vacation, Eric received this picture on his phone from his friend Tim who was taking care of our animals:

He asked if we wanted him to grab anything out of our house for us. We laughed. Then a couple minutes later, I started to panic. There really was a fire in Herriman and we were hundreds of miles away. We stayed up most of the night watching the progression of the fire as it made its way over the mountain near my house online and talking to our neighbors on Facebook. More neighborhoods and streets were evacuated each time. It was coming closer and closer. Most of the people on our street evacuated, although it wasn't a mandatory evacuation like most of the other streets nearby.

I began to think how relieved I was we weren't there (so we didn't have to try to find a place to stay or breathe in that smokey air), all the while feeling helpless that I couldn't save the things I most wanted to keep from burning. This put a lot of things in perspective for me. The things I most wanted safe were photos of Miranda that I could never, ever get back. And our musical instruments--especially Bianca's cheap viola from China that she's completely attached to and her much more expensive cello. Our pets of course. I told Eric to ask Tim if he wouldn't mind grabbing my books for me (all 500-700 hundred of them, I'm not even sure how many there are). Of course the books are replaceable. And I wouldn't even mind rebuilding our house. In fact, in a way, I thought that'd be kind of fun.

I couldn't sleep most of the night. Around 2 a.m., I saw an update on ksl.com that said fifteen houses in Herriman had already burned and the fire was still going strong. The next morning, the news said it was only three had burned. A miracle really.

And when I saw photos of the mountain all black and so, so close to houses, I agree that it was a miracle that more houses hadn't burned. I'm sure a lot of prayers had been issued forth that night. I know my own were mingled in amongst the others. The wind had turned and headed the other direction, which if you know Herriman, you know that's really rare.

The next morning, we got up and watched the news online some more, then got ready and headed to Disneyworld. It was strange to be hundreds of miles away in a place where we were supposed to be having fun, all the while thinking of my home by the minute and wondering if everything would be as it should when I returned. In some ways, I kind of wished I could have been out in the yard with the neighbors watching the fire creep over the mountain and be nearby to grab those things that were most important to me. But then again, I had what was most important to me within my grasp.

As we pulled up to our house a week later, there it was, as it should be. Upon entering, I was relieved to see everything in its place. The air smelled a little smokey; there was some ash in crevices on the front porch and the garage. But I was home and this time, it really was a miracle that it was still standing there.

Who wore it better?

2010-10-29T12:54:00.000-07:00

I still can't decide if Jillyboo or Tigger should wear the turtle costume. What's your vote? (Then I'll do a percentage just like they do in the magazines.)

Rambling on about what other people think v. what I think

2010-10-27T11:33:00.000-07:00

Eric has told me for the past eleven years that we've been married that I care too much about what other people think. I try to consciously make decisions every day that matter to me only, and not about what someone else might think, but I have to admit I'm having a very difficult time with this.

I mean, if you really think about it, if I honestly didn't care what anyone else thinks, I guess there'd be no reason to get dressed every day. I really could stay in my pajamas to drop Portia off at preschool or I guess make-up would completely be history. I know there's a fine balance here in wanting myself to look presentable (for me, I suppose, or for whom really?) and not wanting people to think I'm a total slob. But there we go back to caring about what other people think.

Last week when I was so conflicted about Bianca's performance on piano in front of all those important piano people, one of my friends made the comment on Facebook that as long as I knew Bianca could play that song well, then what did it matter if she messed up in front of all those other people? But really, isn't it human to want to be accepted and respected by other people? Then caring what they think is clearly important. Can't I want other people to think "Wow, that little girl is pretty good on the piano!" And is it for my glory or for hers that I don't want to see her fail? Is it really wrong to want other people to notice?

I'm trying to get to a point in my own personal writing where I want to write for me and me only--that way, my love for writing isn't hinged upon the sale of my novel or for success of the monetary kind. It has to be for me. But why do writers slave away in a lonesome room? It's the most solitary thing we can do in which we're trying to relate to other people. After all, don't writers want other people to enjoy their work? I finally feel like I've reached a point where I honestly don't mind if I never publish anything I write. I'll keep writing because it gives me purpose and makes me feel creative and smart, even if it is only for myself. But let's face it: Even without ever publishing, I still want the people in my writing group to like and relate to what I'm writing about. And then am I just lazy if I write novel after novel and don't put it out there because I don't want to be rejected over and over?

I know I could go in circles about this for hours. But I really am trying to find the right balance of wanting to care less what other people think and do things for myself, but where is the right balance? When will I figure this out?

On Sunday, after five days of letting Bianca just not play Fur Elise, I took out my video camera and I asked her if she would play it for me. She sat there in her comfortable pajamas, on my humble upright piano, and she played slowly and carefully and beautifully and so relaxed, and I knew she could do it. So why did I want to tape it to prove that she could do it? And why do I want to post it now just so that I am reaffirmed that she could have done it like this all along--and who am I really trying to prove this to?

I know life is a whole learning experience and I'm still learning every single day.

Halloween

2010-10-26T08:05:00.000-07:00

I love Halloween! I usually start planning what my girls are going to be at least by the end of August. This year, Bianca said she wanted to be Mozart. I found a costume that would have worked perfectly and then she chickened out and said she'd be too embarrassed to wear it to school. So I said fine, she can wear the Mad Hatter costume that she didn't get around to wearing last year.

If you know me, then you know I'm in love with owls. When I saw Pottery Barn Kids' little girl owl costume, I had to get it for Portia even though it seriously pained me to pay full price for it. Still, hopefully I can get some of that money back next year when I sell in on ebay. After all, the owl costume sold out pretty quickly at PB, which usually means it will sell high. Last night, Portia won 3rd place at the Herriman city orchestra's Halloween event. She was very excited to get the king-size candy bar. She had no problem marching up on stage to retrieve her prize.

How much is too much to ask?

2010-10-20T09:09:00.000-07:00

Several weeks ago, I discovered Utah Symphony's Youth Guild. It's the perfect kind of program for someone like my daughter whose whole world is music. Not only do we get really discounted symphony tickets, but there are educational opportunities and other ways to enmesh oneself in the world Bianca loves. They have these masterclasses where professors of music and professional musicians come and help the kids with their music. They were doing a piano masterclass requesting performers so I called to find out what was involved and what level the performer needs to be at. The woman answered, "Concerto," which I have an idea what that means and promptly responded that I didn't think my daughter was quite ready. She asked me what her latest polished piece was and although it wasn't quite polished yet, I told her Beethoven's Fur Elise. She said she'd put Bianca on the list.

After I hung up, I started to worry. In fact, I hoped she wouldn't be chosen but a week later we got the call that she made it as a performer. That's when my worry went into overdrive. I even resorted to bribery (I'm not proud of it) but I talked her in to playing the song ten times a day and I'd buy her two books she'd been wanting. Bianca totally fulfilled her end of the bargain and she practiced without complaint. And she improved and she even memorized it (which I hadn't expected) and at home, the song was nearly perfect. She was ready.

Yesterday, I took her downtown for the masterclass. Most of the other performers were quite a bit older than Bianca (most were high-schoolers playing Rachmaninoff and Chopin and the other great piano concertos). Bianca stood up there bravely, struggled with the bench that was quite large for her, and played her piece. And as she played, Bianca struggled in a way I hadn't seen her do for weeks. She even stopped the song a couple times to get back on track. But she made it through and she finished strong. The instructor (Hilary Demske, a professor at UVU) helped her with several things--she was using much too much pedal (in the video, you can see her pumping away at it like she's playing a pump organ) and her left hand drowns out her right hand in the fast section near the end and Hilary taught her a way to make big chords easier with her small hands.

The next morning, as I watched the video, I cringed. Not because of her messing up (well, a little because of that) but mainly because I know I put too much pressure on her. Bianca didn't ask me to throw her into a group of musicians who are on the fast-track to Julliard. She just loves playing the piano and music. Maybe this is all just too much for her. I mean, her goal isn't to be a concert pianist. In fact, she says she likes playing her stringed instruments better and she really wants to be a composer. But she's very good at piano and I guess I wanted to believe that she fit in with this group of people. Because I was the one who pushed her in. I guess this is a life lesson for me.

But how do the kids who are truly great get noticed without pushy parents who take a chance? What about that little 10-year-old girl who sings opera on America's Got Talent? My guess is she had a pushy mom (or other person in her life) or no one would know she exists. I read recently that Beethoven was a prodigy just as Mozart was as a child but his parents didn't know how to "market" him the way Mozart's parents did. I'm not saying Bianca's a prodigy, but I do want to give her all the opportunities in the world she can have. I guess I just need to make sure she wants them.

She did work hard and despite her mistakes, I'm still very, very proud of her. (After watching the video again, I'm a little heartbroken that it's me Bianca looks at right before the performance and right after. I'm guessing my opinion means more to her than anyone else's. She needs to know that I'm proud of her and I'm going to make sure I let her know.)

We're learning to play the cello

2010-09-13T14:18:00.000-07:00

Yes, all three of us. Bianca asked for a cello for her birthday and begged to learn cello this year in beginner orchestra (of course she will still be playing viola in advanced orchestra too). So I found a cello on KSL classifieds, and we picked it up about a month ago. That's when Bianca started showing me where the different notes were. She said she just watched last year when the orchestra instructor was showing the cello students. The only cello music in the house was the stuff Bianca had written, so I picked out a couple easy songs. Yes, I know I'm too old for something like this and much too big for this 1/4-size cello and it's ridiculous I'm trying to play an instrument I never even touched my entire life, but it's kind of fun. I also realize how horrible I am, but I'm learning. I'm so proud of the calluses on the pads of my fingers on my left hand I got from playing. Portia likes to have her "cello lessons" every day too and we have to put the end-pin down as far as it will go (mine has to be up as high as it will go) and she just bows back and forth.

I've been practicing a song Bianca wrote especially for me on the cello (to play with her on viola) called "Cello in Vienna."

Portia's in Preschool!

2010-09-04T10:28:00.000-07:00

Portia started preschool this week. She's making new friends and learning lots of new songs and other new things. Her teacher told me that she's very good at coloring, which I knew, and I know that art is her favorite thing! I didn't do a real preschool with Bianca (just a neighborhood style preschool where the moms rotated the classes) so this is a new experience for me as well! It feels strange though--rushing in the morning to have Portia ready in time. I've lost my leisurely mornings with just Portia and me. I'll miss that but it's exciting to start this new chapter!

Unbeatables

2010-09-02T09:22:00.000-07:00

I'm so relieved it's finally over. The chorus practices, the anxiety I felt about how this was all going to turn out had taken over my entire August. Last weekend were the performances of the musical that I wrote the script for back in February (for the City of Herriman's children's theatre to perform)--We Built This City on Rock and Roll. I thought it would be fun to see something I wrote, the characters I created, and the storyline I came up with all played out on stage. But it wasn't quite how I'd hoped. I was constantly worried about changes being made (which when it comes down to it, the dialogue stayed mostly how I wrote it). I was also concerned about how the songs (popular 80s songs like Thriller, Take on me, Girls Just Wanna Have Fun, etc.) were handled in light of the play. Although the performances were a little unprofessional, it was nice to see it up there on stage and even nicer to know it's over.

The idea for the musical came to me after Bianca competed in a chess tournament last year. She told me how she and the boys (they're mostly boys who play chess in these competitions) would trash talk each other while they were in the midst of games. I thought this was funny and couldn't imagine my sweet little Bianca telling some 5th grade boy she was going to kick his butt. But still, this gave me the inspiration for the main character Quinn and her timely defeat of a friend (a neighbor boy Kingston) in a school chess tournament that started a real-live chess match of pranks between the two neighbors the night after the girls beat the boys' chess team. I thought it was pretty clever.

I was really disappointed when Bianca didn't get one of the lead parts for the girls. I'd hoped she would. And Bianca was disappointed as well, but she said it was okay. Although she really wanted a lead, she still wanted to be in the chorus.

I know I've been dealing with a lot of pride issues surrounding this play. It doesn't matter (it's just a silly kids' musical) and it should be enough that it was performed, but I just wish someone would care what I thought instead of just taking the script (that surely must have somehow appeared by magic and FREE!) and running with it. I know, I know, I just need to get over myself.

But Bianca had fun and she did her part great. She even got a little solo in "Don't Go Breaking My Heart" which I personally thought was one of the best songs of the musical. She was dressed as a boy on the boy's side but she made a great boy and she did the best she could with the part she was given, which makes me more proud than anything else. I guess that's what I should do--accept that I did the best I could and that should be enough. I guess it'll have to be for now.

Bianca's viola recital

2010-08-10T09:42:00.001-07:00

With year-round school, it's hard to find a summer camp. Every strings camp that sounded good either took place while Bianca's still in school or back to school. There was one we signed up for, but it was cancelled. So instead, I decided to put Bianca in private viola lessons. It would help with her technique and the little things the orchestra instructor at school can't help each child with. So we found someone who teaches viola/violin and started at the beginning of June. Her teacher Brian graduated in viola performance from BYU so I thought he'd be a good fit. And it's gone well. He expects a lot--she has to memorize her songs every week--and Bianca has really had to step it up. The recital was on Saturday, and Bianca has really improved.

The funniest part of the day, however, was something Portia said. Bianca--and the other younger students--have all been working their way through Suzuki book one. So when one of the other kids played a song for the recital that Bianca had already played herself weeks before, Portia yelled out, "Bianca wrote that song." I pressed my hand over her mouth and told her that while Bianca has written a lot of songs, she didn't write that one. Funny, and embarrassing.

Assuming the private lessons aren't too much work when orchestra picks back up in September, we might keep going with them.

Deciphering 4th Grade Language

2010-08-07T07:34:00.000-07:00

So Bianca started fourth grade two weeks ago. This year is starting off much better than last year. She already loves her teacher, Mrs. Lloyd. Bianca comes home excited every day, telling me the projects they're working on and even about finishing up her homework. There are also a lot more boys in her class this year. I had a feeling fourth grade was going to be the year that the boys started catching up with the girls. For the last three years, Bianca's gifted class has had maybe five boys tops. This year it's half and half.

When I went to pick Bianca up from school yesterday, she got in the car and said, "Mom, I think a boy likes me."

I said, "Really? Why do you think that?"

"Well," she continued, "George said he wished every girl in the class would explode except for Bianca."

I laughed. I guess it could mean that.

Bianca's Concert

2010-08-03T10:21:00.001-07:00

I hadn't thought of it that way until my sister's husband Rob said that Bianca's recital was a concert, since she was the only person performing. It just so happened to be that way because Bianca's piano teacher only teaches one other student so she would give them each their own recital. Bianca prepared quite a few songs for the big day and had most of them memorized because she had practiced them for so long. We pushed it off so we could have the recital while all my family was in town. I didn't get a chance to write this blog before now because I was recovering from a house full of family and then the fifth anniversary of Miranda's death. But I don't want to pass up this opportunity to say how proud and impressed I was with my Bianca who did a great job. This is what she played:

Reuben and Rachel Folk Tune -- Arranged by John W. Schaum
Canon in D (Duet with Bianca’s piano teacher Michelle Willis) -- Johann Pachelbel
Mirage -- Michael Runyan
Sonata in C -- Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart
Mountains Moving -- Original composition by Bianca Quigley
Jump of the Grasshopper -- Original composition by Bianca Quigley
The Entertainer -- Scott Joplin
Ballade -- F. Burgmuller
Rain on a Dark Morning -- Original composition by Bianca Quigley featuring:
Violin—Michelle Willis; Viola—Bianca Quigley; Cello—Spencer Willis; Piano—Jeana Quigley

Eric's Fan Club

2010-08-02T16:27:00.000-07:00

I love Sundays. That's the day Eric cooks. He loves to cook and I love when he cooks. I really wish he'd come home from work every night and cook, but no such luck. Still, I'll take my Sundays. Yesterday he made fresh crab and avocado melts for dinner, along with homemade key lime pie. Not to mention the Belgian waffles with strawberries and fresh whipped cream for breakfast. Wow, I'm salivating just remembering yesterday. It was funny, though. When Eric was boiling the crab, Portia came in asking what that stinky smell was. On the opposite end of the spectrum, there were Tigger and Jillyboo hanging with Eric in the kitchen--his biggest fans, besides me. And Bianca.

A story I've told more than five times

2010-07-19T15:07:00.000-07:00

This is a blog topic from my theme-blog group. Most of you may already have heard this story (hence the reason I'm telling it) but even so, I still think it's a remarkable story:

The story I'm going to share is the one when I found out I had cancer. It was only a month after I had Bianca, my first child. As the weight started coming off, I noticed my belly was lopsided. Especially when I laid down. My doctor felt it and agreed there was a problem--was it a surgical sponge she'd forgotten to remove after the c-section? We did an ultrasound, then a CT scan, and they told me first it was a dermoid, then a benign tumor. It wasn't until two weeks after the surgery (and they removed my "football" sized tumor) did we find out it was malignant, a cancer called liposarcoma. What makes it so strange is that this is a cancer usually found in elderly men.

The really interesting part of this story is when I was having my surgery, it was right after Christmas. So my mom and dad, and sister with her 5-year-old son Collin came out to SLC to visit and watch my newborn baby. The night before my surgery, my sister Betsy said she wanted to feel my tumor. I laid down (as that was the easiest way to feel it) and guided her hand to the protrusion. She didn't make much of a reaction then, but several days later, after I was released from the hospital, she asked if I would do something for her. She wanted me to feel her little boy's tummy. When I did, I freaked out because it felt exactly like my tumor did. I told her to go to the ER right away, but they left the next day and went when they returned to St. Louis. The doctors brushed off Betsy, saying it was backed up poop and told her to give him an enema. A couple days later, the doctors still wouldn't listen to her. Finally, she demanded an x-ray and sure enough, there it was: a basketball-sized tumor in a five-year-old's tummy. A Wilm's Tumor. It was a grade four cancer. He had a huge surgery, weeks of chemo after that and I think radiation too.

He made it through. So did I. My doctor had said there was a 90 percent chance my cancer would return, but almost ten years later and it hasn't. I wonder sometimes if I was the tool Heavenly Father used to save my nephew. Maybe, maybe not, but at least my cancer doesn't seem so futile if I think of it that way.

My favorite piece of furniture, my cedar chest

2010-06-29T16:18:00.000-07:00

I had written about it on my college application essay, about all the things it contained—my personal history, my life, really--all housed inside that wooden box. I can’t remember why I had asked for said piece of furniture, but it was my very first piece of furniture I ever owned and it’s still my favorite piece to this day.

My mom and dad gave it to me for Christmas one year. I was teenager and had loads of diaries and journals and photos that needed a dark home where they wouldn’t be so exposed. My parents got it at an antique shop. I adore its daisies and etched fans. I adore the scratches on its wooden veneer because it has a life and a history. Its history began long before I existed, but now it contains my history. It's me in a box.

I was just thinking the other day that I need to get Bianca a cedar chest of her own, somewhere she can store all her little stories, pictures, and musical compositions. All the things that are her. Maybe I’ll make it a tradition, like getting your ears pierced at age 10. Maybe my girls will get cedar chests when they turn nine. Now, to find the perfect one. . .

Portia wants an audience

2010-06-28T08:23:00.000-07:00

I caught Portia dancing for this audience this morning and thought I'd share:

Step Rock Run

2010-06-28T08:06:00.000-07:00

Bianca's been training for the mile race. After she and I stopped running together, she said she was still running laps at school and she said she ran a mile at least every day. I recently learned that her school was doing a "Run to Disneyland" project where they had to track the amount they were running after math in the afternoons, and she was really running a mile every day. I found out on Thursday night when she and I ran a mile together to make sure she was ready for the Step Rock Run, which is the race Herriman City does every year. Bianca ran it last year and got a silver medal. Well, Bianca was definitely ready. I had a hard time keeping up with her, and I run four miles every other morning.

So Saturday morning, we got up and went to the park where the race starts. It's always a little terrifying for me because the 5K and 10K start at the same time, so I always worry my little girl is going to get trampled. I asked her if she wanted me to run with her, but she wanted to do it on her own. Thankfully, Bianca noticed a friend of hers who was also racing in the mile and they stood together to start.

I headed back to the finish line so I could be at the end when Bianca finished. I was so proud of her when I saw her coming around the corner. The rest was downhill from there and I yelled for her to sprint, if she wanted. She wanted.

Her time was a little over eight minutes, which was half a minute improvement from last year. She got second in the women's category and got another silver medal. I am so proud of her!

In light of Father's Day yesterday

2010-06-21T07:58:00.000-07:00

I'm not sure what my problem was this year. I always start running in the spring. But this year, I waited and waited and waited. Maybe it was the weather that was unseasonably cold or maybe it was my laziness--probably both. It wasn't until Bianca said she wanted to go running that I finally said yes. Then we started running together in the morning, the two of us, but I found myself always correcting her (relax your hands, breath in your nose, stop whining--why can't I just leave her alone?) and I realized I can't run with her. So I politely told her she should focus on getting ready in the mornings instead of running. I hope I don't regret this in the long run because I think exercise is so important--especially developing habits as children. But really, I'm a solo runner. I prefer it that way. Then I'm not feeling so much pressure to either keep up or slow down to run with a buddy; I can set my own pace. Plus, I hate talking while running (just ask my poor sister who loves to discuss all of life while running).

But there is one thing I do say while I'm running. Every time I pass another runner or biker or walker. It's "Morning." My dad used to say it when we would run together. He'd say it to every person who went by whether it was the first time or the twelfth. Some people are friendly back, some not. But I don't let it bother me; I'm too busy breathing in and out, in and out, willing my tired legs to just keep going. It's one small way I can keep the spirit of my father alive, keep him running, keep a running buddy by my side without having to worry about slowing anyone down.

Meet Jillyboo

2010-06-02T07:58:00.000-07:00

Jillyboo is our new cat. We got her on Friday at the Humane Society adoption center at Petco. She's part Siamese and part Himalayan and she has light blue eyes. She's really a sweet, docile little cat who will sit in your lap for an hour. She also likes to be carted around in a basket. She hid the first couple days, but is starting to get used to us (although Portia is still not allowed to hold her after I caught her swinging the poor kitty by the head).

One of our favorite things is when Jillyboo hides under the dishwasher. I swear she thinks we can't see her, but we've started calling it our "furry-pawed" dishwasher.

I'm so glad to have a cat in the house again and so are the girls. But I don't know about Tigger. Here they are, about as close as I've seen them to each other.

If I had a million dollars . . .

2010-05-26T09:17:00.000-07:00

I hope that I wouldn’t change too much. I hope I wouldn’t buy too much stuff, just a couple good things I really, really want. Things I’d still appreciate after the money was gone or stored away for a future day.

I probably wouldn’t change the way I do things—I’d still use coupons and have the supermarket match other store’s ads, I’d still add water to my soap when I get down to the bottom to get it all out, I’d still squeeze every bit of toothpaste out of the tube. Because I don’t think that’s about money, but about not wasting. I would still look for the best deal on things because no matter how much money I have, I don’t want to pay more than I need to.

I hope I’d be one of those millionaires who you’d never know was a millionaire just by looking at them.

Conducting Debut

2010-05-17T20:20:00.000-07:00

Friday, Bianca had her conducting debut. She'd written a song a while back with four parts--violin, viola, cello and piano--called Rain on a Dark Morning. Her orchestra instructor said they could play it for her concert and even offered to let Bianca conduct her song. The 2nd video below is Bianca's song. Okay, since the elementary school orchestra played it, it does sound a little different from how Bianca wrote it (timing was a little off during the piano solo). Still, it turned out great and we're really proud of her accomplishment!

The monster concert

2010-05-12T08:54:00.000-07:00

A monster concert sounds like something off Sesame Street. But it's a big concert in which many elementary school orchestras come together and play the same songs in one big orchestra. Yesterday was a very long day for my eight-year-old: Bianca had to go to orchestra practice before school, then school all-day, then I had to get her out fifteen minutes before school was out and drop her off at Copper Hills High school, where all the orchestras rehearsed together, had a short dinner break of pizza, and the concert was at seven. That's a monster day!

The concert was nice. Afterwards, Bianca said her arms ached and rightfully so.

Orchestra is coming to a close for the year. Just one more little concert, on Friday during school but I'm going anyway. They're playing a song Bianca wrote. I wouldn't miss it for the world.