Each year, I get a recorded phone message on April 27. It's Geoffrey the giraffe (from Toys 'R Us) singing happy birthday to Miranda. The first year after she died, I thought it was just plain mean. Now, I don't get angry. I actually listen to it and hang up the phone quietly. And that's when Miranda's birthday begins.
It's always a sad day for me. I try not to do too much. I try to think a lot and look back at pictures and read about Miranda. It's the one day of the year that indulge myself in the memories of Miranda that I try not to let affect my day-to-day life.
Tonight, we'll eat a little dinner as a family, eat some cupcakes that have become a tradition on Miranda's birthday, visit the cemetery, bring her little gifts,talk about her a little more than usual. And we'll be sad. Not because we can't enjoy the good memories of her, but it's just impossible not to think and wonder about what she'd be like today. Turning five. Going into kindergarten next year.
And that's it. That's our celebration (or mourning really, if you want to be technical) that I let myself have every year.
I once thought about calling Toys 'R Us and asking them to please stop calling on her birthday. But now I look forward to it, Geoffrey the giraffe hasn't forgotten Miranda the way most of the world has. I guess I'll just let that be for now.
9 comments:
Happy Birthday Miranda! You are extremely lucky to have a family that loves you so much.
Eric, Jeana, Bianca and Portia, you are all in our thoughts and prayers. Hope you can have lots of happy thoughts and memories today and always.
Happy Birthday beautiful Miranda! Jeana, I've been thinking about you and was happy that this morning dawned bright and beautiful...I wasn't really surprised though.
Jeana, you have me in tears again. Happy birthday to your sweet angel. You are in my thoughts and prayers as well.
J,
I loved how well you articulated your feelings in this post. What a lovely tribute. You are a sweet mother and Miranda is lucky to have you. (Portia and Bianca too of course.)
C
Jeana, what a beautiful post! I've been thinking of you all today and I am continually amazed at your strength. You, Eric, Bianca and Portia are in our prayers.
What a great post, I loved reading it. She is a lucky girl to be a part of your family. Thanks for sharing that with us.
Jeana what an amazing family you have! I think of Miranda often. Happy Birthday Miranda!
That's beautiful Jeana, never doubt what a great mother you are. I'm glad you took a day to celebrate your sweet angel!
One of my favorite posts! What a beautiful tribute to your angel above!
Post a Comment