It's been a long road. . .

I started writing The Pulse of Hopeful Life (formerly known as "Forever Blue" and "Dandelion Bouquets") nearly six years ago. I wrote just for me, though, as an alternative to paying for expensive therapy sessions after Miranda died. I'd read once that writing in story format can be more healing or therapeutic than just writing down exactly what happened. So that's what I did. I created this woman, Andria, who experienced the horrific thing in my life that I couldn't seem to see past and I let her do all the things I knew rationally I couldn't do but deep down was afraid I might. It was easier to distance my emotions and my feelings when they became Andria's irrational feelings and not mine. Turns out, it also helped me to have something to focus on.

I still grieved and writing the novel was very difficult for me--especially the details surrounding the accident (the one event in the novel that did happen to me). But I did it, and it turned into a novel. The manuscript went through several writing groups and lots and lots of edits, through several agents, one very promising one, and then nothing. So I had a decision: I could either put it away, or I could take matters into my own hands.

Now it's out. It feels weird (and wonderful) to think there may be people reading my novel at any given moment and not know who they are or where they are. I feel exhilarated and petrified all at the same time. I'm trying to keep my expectations low--after all, it was either this or leaving it in a dark drawer in my desk (okay really, in a dark computer file somewhere on my laptop). I'll be shocked if I even break even on the money I put into it. I don't need to hit it big (although I wouldn't turn that down either) but really, if it makes a difference in one person's life then it's worth it, right? Maybe it can help someone else down the line who has to suffer the sort of grief I had to or maybe help other people understand others who are suffering.

I don't know how motivated I'll be to market the book (I was a business minor in college but it's a lot different when you're self-promoting your own book, just because there are emotions involved). This is the hard part for me. Maybe the library, local book stores?!? We'll see. But for now, it's on amazon.com and it's on goodreads.com and until the books I ordered arrive, there's not a lot I can do but sit back and watch things unfold.

So, here it is on amazon:

http://www.amazon.com/Pulse-Hopeful-Life-Jeana-Watters/dp/145637754X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1298995935&sr=1-1

And if you do get around to reading it, I'd love it if you'd leave a review on amazon or goodreads:

http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/10594011-the-pulse-of-hopeful-life

You never know what will happen, right? After all, I heard yesterday that Michael Crichton self-published his first novel.