Still Undecided...

I need to just make up my mind already. The looming decision is tormenting me. I know I worry too much. I've been up in the middle of the night pretty regularly for several months now. It does me little good, but I just can't turn my head off. I wish I could.

My kids' education is one of my main priorities. We're moving largely due to the Alpine School District. Thankfully, Bianca tested right into the ALL (advanced learning lab) program, similar to the ALPS program she's been in since first grade, and that class is actually at our neighborhood school. It's a much better scenario than here where Bianca was about five elementary schools away from our neighborhood school and there's been a lot of driving over the last five years. Plus, a bus will come by and swallow her up every morning and spit her back out every afternoon. I love this idea.

Sometimes too many options can be harder. I've always professed that I prefer to weigh all my options to make sure I'm choosing the best route for my kids. Portia was accepted in the lottery to North Star Academy, a charter school in Bluffdale. Now some parents are cult-ishly devoted to charter schools. I don't fall into that category. I think your school is only as good as that year's teacher, whether that's in public, charter or private. That's been my experience thus far. However, numbers don't lie and North Star has a proven record that makes it hard for me to pass up. Plus, they put kids in a higher grade for certain subjects depending on the child's ability. (On the down side, though, the idea of the uniforms--boring plain pants, boring polo shirt--is almost enough to sway me.)

I've gone back and forth trying to make up my mind--one moment it's just too much driving to try to take her to a school in another county and the idea of that magnificent bus and the image of my leisurely mornings fill me with almost enough peace to get me back to sleep at 4:05 am (yes, that is the time right now). At other times, I remember the sacrifices I made for Bianca's education--the private school in South Jordan I enrolled her at so that she could get into kindergarten a year early (that October birthday was just too hard for a kid as "ready" for kindergarten as she was). Portia is probably ready for 1st grade. She's reading like a pro. I hate to be one of those moms, but I need to know what the school is going to do to encourage my child. I'm planning to meet with the principal of the Alpine school tomorrow. Please, please tell me that they have resources set up to meet the demands of children who need more. The secretary at the school suggested moving her straight into first grade, but to be honest, I don't want to do that. I thought about it for all of five seconds, right before I heard a "meow," turned around and saw my 5-year-old licking her paws and bathing like a cat (for the third time yesterday). Emotionally she's not ready. I know this. II need to make the best decision for my kids. Is it horrible that I wish she'd never gotten in? Probably. But it is what it is and I've got to make a decision. Soon.

It would be very optimistic of me to say that as soon as that decision is made, I should be able to sleep better. But let's face it, until the work on the Highland house is done and decisions on which plumbing fixtures and which tile and did-I-write-that-check are over, I'm going to have perpetual lack-of-sleep rings around my eyes.

UPDATE: Sometimes it's okay to go with simple. As I walked through the mess that is our current renovation/remodel, I wondered why we didn't just buy a house that was move-in ready. Yeah, there's good bones and potential and a lot of work. So, after talking with the principal at Westfield, I made a decision. It may have been out of exhaustion, but I made a decision and we're sticking with it. Portia's going to Westfield with her sister and riding the bus! I can't tell you what a relief it is to have the decision made.