Wednesday, February 11, 2009

My mornings with Portia and hot cocoa

When I started getting serious with my boyfriend (who would eventually become my husband) in college, we had a little glitch in our relationship about the future. We were sitting in his Pontiac Bonneville in the underground parking beneath my apartment building, arguing about having kids. We weren't even close to being married but I guess we thought we should probably figure out if we have the same goals in mind before continuing on. I explained that I didn't really want any children. I wanted to do the career thing.

This was a completely unsatisfactory answer. He wanted them; wouldn't mind four. And I can't honestly say that I didn't, but fighting with him was one of the things that made us tick. I was sometimes argumentative for argument's sake.

I don't remember how this all played out; I succumbed eventually. My several years of work had been a disappointment and finally, we were married.

I've dabbled with "professional" work since, working part-time editing, writing, even working full-time editing when Eric lost his job for a while back in 2004. But the truth was, I wanted to be home. I, who didn't even think I wanted children, chose to be home with my kids.

The other night at my book club, we were talking about what the one thing we loved most about being home with our kids (and of course we covered the thing we hate most as well) but the more I thought about my answer, the more I've been enjoying my mornings with Portia drinking hot cocoa.

A typical morning for me starts at 7 a.m. when Bianca sidles into my room to tell me it's time to get ready for school. I stumble through the dark house and eventually turn on a light three rooms away (I hate light in the mornings) so that I can get Bianca's breakfast and pack up her lunch. That's when the whirlwind begins--there's spelling words, brushing teeth, fixing hair, finding socks and socks, piano practice, packing up the backpack. Somewhere in the middle of all that, Portia usually screams from her crib "Hot cocoa." Bianca and Eric hurdle out into the car and leave for work/school. That's when I sigh and start the cocomotion.

I know I started Portia early on hot cocoa, but until now I've never known anyone who loves hot cocoa as much as I do. Extra chocolately. With whipped cream. Portia has her own porcelain tea cup that she handles carefully. And we sit. And she asks for "More hot cocoa." And I get her more. And I drink my hot cocoa. And I love that I got everything done for Bianca that she needed this morning. And I love that I have this time to myself and to Portia. And I really do love being a stay-at-home mom.

Photobucket Portia


Crystal said...

It's the little moments that are the most special to me too. I feel like the longer I am a Mommy the more I come to appreciate and cherish them for what they are. it's cute how Portia loves it so much...and her little cup.

I love hot chocolate too. I don't have a fancy machine to make mine, but I go through the large cans of Stephens hot cocoa from Costco pretty quickly all by myself! I don't start the day with mine though. It's how I end it, after I put the last child to bed and can sit on the couch and drink it all without having to share one sip. I'm selfish with it.

Christie Gardiner said...

J, it really is the little things like this that make it worth it. I too have thought a lot along these lines since Book Club. I love putting Libby to sleep for her nap. I wrap her up and put her cheek against my cheek and read while kissing her cheek. Even after she's asleep I rock and rock and rock.

rachel said...

After being away from the kiddos for three days, it really put everything in perspective. Yes, I adore these children and yes, I need time away every once in awhile as well, so I can always remember how much I adore these children. :D There's hot chocolate missing from my life...and Portia looks adorable with her teacup!!

Amber Gardiner said...

That's beautiful Jeana, even pictures...I knew you were made to be a blogger!