"And the most important piece of clothing you must wear is love."
I ran across this "scripture" on a listing on ebay for a dress I've been watching. It's long been known to me (and confirmed last week when I went to see the Shopoholic movie) that I have a problem. A buying problem. Buying dresses for my girls, especially.
I want my girls to be well-dressed. That's it. I remember wishing for clothes when I was a kid--only to be handed down both my older sisters' very used leftovers.
As a mother, I think I've modeled a lot of my style around my own mother. But the clothes issue is where I've run completely to the other side of the field. I want my kids to have it so very different from I did. I've seen this with my sister too. And yes, now our kids are well-dressed. But where does it stop? There has to be a limit. Portia has so many dresses that at most, she wears one dress twice. I know it's too much, but I just can't stop. And it increases my pleasure twofold if I can get said dress(es) for a good deal (yes, I remember the fight the protagonist in Shopoholic had over the half-priced boots).
In my defense, however, this all started when Miranda died and I realized that I hadn't bought her enough clothes of her own (translation: If I had bought her more, she would have felt more loved). I justify this by saying that the amount of dresses my girls have equals how much I love them. I know it's not completely rational, but at least I have an excuse. My intentions are good. And when my girls are all dressed up for church, they are cloaked in my love.
Admitting the problem is the first step. Next step, tomorrow I'm going to try to go a whole day without looking on ebay. Let's see if I'm strong enough. I have to keep telling myself that I love my kids regardless of what they're wearing. I do know that my mom loved me even when I was wearing those footie pajamas with my toes poking through.