Peace

We've finally made a decision that feels right, and I feel peace for the first time since January. Today our house is going off the market. We're officially not going to walk through any more houses. We're going to sit tight for about six months and save up. I'm getting granite in my kitchen, but I'm holding off on the bookshelves upstairs. Around January, we're going to assess where we are financially and assuming everything's as it should be, we're going to start building at that time. We're going to keep our eyes open for the right building lot in between now and that time. We're thinking either Herriman, Riverton, or South Jordan. I also want to see what happens in the next school year with the east/west split before I make any major decisions.

We've picked a builder (same one as the house we almost bought) and a floorplan. Imagine in the great/family room my two-story library in this house: .

http://www.jewkesbrothers.com/viewmodel.cfm?ViewID=13



This will be my last house. Unless we have to move out of state, I'll never move again.

Portia Turned Three!

Portia's third birthday was quiet as far as birthdays go. We had a nice family meal together (Cheddar Cheese pies) and Daddy brought home gourmet cupcakes from this new bakery called The Sweet Tooth Fairy. Yum!



For her birthday, Portia got some Angelina Ballerina living room furniture (see discarded furniture in photos), a Little Einsteins toy, and a stuffed owl. This seemed small potatoes to Portia when she opened Grandma Watters' box of goodies that included a rainbow tutu with matching musical bells.





Happy Third Birthday, Portia!

Indian Instruments

On Eric's last trip to India (and hopefully his last ever), Bianca asked for a sitar. She's musical and thought it would be fun to have such a strange instrument to try out. Then Portia asked for an instrument. While he was at it, I told him he might as well pick up something for Bianca's piano teacher who collects rare instruments from around the world so that her Christmas present for next year will be done.

He was only gone for a couple days and when he came back, he had one full bag filled with Indian musical instruments. Here are the treasures he brought home:

First, Bianca's Sitar:



Next, Portia's instrument. It's called a Dori Dholak and it's played on its side so you can hit both sides with each hand:



A woman who worked at the office sent gifts for each of the girls too. Here's an Ektara, which means single-stringed instrument in Hindi. It's pretty cool. It's actually made out of a gourd and a bamboo stick.



We brought home a tabla for Bianca's piano teacher. A tabla is a two-part drum but I didn't take a photo because it's shrink wrapped and I want to give it as a Christmas present new.

They're very exotic and are quite cool. Now we need to learn how to use them.

Dressing up

About seven years ago when Eric lost his job, we heard a bit of advice that I've never forgotten even though I don't remember who said it or where it came from. The advice was that you should never have all your household income coming from one place. After he found a job, we applied it. Eric took up refereeing lacrosse games on the weekends, I started working part-time for the newspaper, and we got a fourplex that boosted monthly income. Although I'm not doing the newspaper gig any longer, we still have the other "sources" in place.

Two weekends ago, as Eric was readying to leave for a lacrosse game, Portia said something to him about dressing up. I didn't get what she was saying and neither did he until two minutes later, Portia came running in to the family room in her "dress-up" (an old dance recital leotard from my childhood that both my girls have loved playing in). I'm a little embarrassed about it--what with the black lace and silver sequins.

But here it is: Eric and Portia in their matching dress-ups.

We're staying after all

On Thursday, our realtor called and said they are officially giving the house to the back-up offer people (who offered quite a bit more). I'm washing my hands of the whole thing. Still, I'm a little sad. But I'm trying to remember all the reasons I didn't want to move and dwell on those.

I thought a good way to get over my sadness would be to give my house a couple little boosts. So I went to Anthropologie and bought some new curtains for my family room. I'm having a couple people come bid on my library upstairs--bookshelves, fireplace (hopefully), additional A/C. I'm getting bids on a fence. I even pulled up some of the shelving the builders left in my house ten years ago and I went to Home Depot and got some shelf supports and added four rows of shelving in our coat closet for shoes (one row for each of us). And Eric says I never do things around the house.



I also bought a bunch of rock and am filling in the window wells around the house. I'm so sick of weeds growing out of them. I don't know how long this will last, but I'm excited about all the new things to be done to my house. And since we don't need the money for a down payment, I've got a little to spend.

Do I like this game? Oh no, I do not!

When I was in California visiting my sister, Portia found The Cat in the Hat in the room where she was sleeping and asked me to read it every night. She loved the part when the fish is flustered and the cat keeps on with his crazy antics. The part that stuck with us (and we still repeat a lot) is when the fish said about the up, up-up-up-with-a-fish game: Do I like this game? Oh no, I do not.

I've been flustered lately too. About realtor games. Last night, the realtor came back to us and said we needed to go up another $10,000 if we wanted to get the house that we had already negotiated a price on. We had two hours to think about it and get back to her. We talked. I didn't feel good about it. Eric didn't either. We decided it's the price we originally negotiated or nothing. We'd walk.

I righted everything in my head. I decided we'd get a fence this summer and maybe put a little playhouse in the back yard. I'd do my bookshelves after all. I felt so at peace with it. But a half an hour later, the realtor called back and said the owners really wanted us to get the house so there's still a chance. This feels like a big game where people are lying (about back-up offers, etc.) to try to get you to raise the price. I don't know if I can trust my own realtor who got a little ornery with me last night about how $10,000 was no big deal. Part of me just wanted to be done with it once and for all and accept that I'm going to be staying in my house that I love (and no one else seemed to from our week and a half on the market). So now we're still in this state of indecision--are we going or are we not?

At the risk of sounding like an overly uptight fish, I'll end this blog by saying, Do I like this game? Oh no, I do not!

Faith of a child

The first time Bianca tried to fast on a fast Sunday, she ended up throwing up after she ate dinner. She's eight. I didn't expect her to do it. Heaven knows I still have a hard time fasting (and frankly don't love doing it). But she wanted to try. This past Sunday, since Eric and I were fasting for a special reason, Bianca said she wanted to try again. And while we were fasting for a quick sale of our current house, Bianca said she was fasting to make sure moving was the right thing. She did it and she didn't even throw up this time.

Yesterday, however, we found out we may not be moving after all. A couple weeks ago, the realtors said everything was going to happen, said it was a "done deal" in the other realtor's own words. So we moved forward, put our house on the market, prayed for a quick sale. Everything seemed to be falling into place and it felt right. And now it might not happen. The owners signed, but the bank hadn't and some higher offers came through. I felt a little heartbroken. And then I thought about Bianca and her fasting and her faith. And I wondered if maybe it wasn't the right thing, but we thought it was and until then, we hadn't been asking Heavenly Father the right questions or praying for the right thing.

So now, it's in the Lord's hands. I will accept whatever the outcome is. I'm going to try to have the faith of a child and accept that if the bank gives the house to someone else, it was the Lord's answer to Bianca's prayer, to the question I should have been asking all along.